00:00 – 04:51 Intros of us, of our guest David Amerland, and our special back-up friend, Melanie Hall.
4:51 – 10:05 David begins with a mental game to show why we need trust to lead to understanding
11:16 – 17:30 David responds to trust questions by Heidi: example: VW. vs. Toyota
17:30 – 22:25 Moving toward transparency? In the “we” space we know instinctively who to trust but in the I/them space, as between cultures, trust becomes not so ”instinctive”. Likewise on the web.
22:25 – 27:18 The net vs. old brand loyalty and new contexts, trust requires mutual vulnerability and symmetry. example of Amazon vs, Italy and a little shop in Perth in Australia.
27:20 – 29:53 Changing loyalties among different demographic groups and various social media
29:55 – 31:27 Origins of the cultures of Facebook and Google and the consequences thereof. “On Google+…the data is yours. But with Facebook you can’t close your account, they just suspend it and your data is theirs.
31:27 – 32:53 Young people are not naive about the security of various platforms
32:55 – 34:18 More news about the world warps our idea of how “bad” things are. But we are planting seeds of trust around the word.
34:20 – 37:36 “There may be mistrust but mistrust doesn’t mean a complete absence of trust.” David explains.
37:36 – 41:53 Trust from relationship from communication. Works both personally and in business. Measure trust with a trustometer..and then more seriously and all parties are in a fluid flux continually.
42:10 – 49:20 Back to instincts and why trust is so hard to maintain. VW again. German rationality vs. cultural sensitivity and perceptions.With a global culture you have to overlook cultural differences and look for cultural similarities.
49:41 – 55:05 Melanie takes a turn and applies trust to current politicians – especially ONE politician – and David responds that transparency is not enough, we need to see actions, motives, intent, context and a look at history and what we can learn in retrospect.
55:05 – 58:47 Final observations, takeaways, announcements, thank you’s and goodbye’s.
2:20 Is Social Media included in the concept of Integral Relationships by Martin Ucik?
2:45 MS: people connect for falling in love – and Internet is a way for doing that
3:50 contact requests on social media
4:50 How Heidi handles contact requests on social media
6;20 on social media you can find people of common ground
7:05 What is an Integral Relationship?
7:30 Looking through the integral lense on any relationship with the “4 Quadrants”
9:00 Typical types of relationships
10:02 Integral couple – masculine and feminine balance
10:41 Referral to David Deida and Ken Wilber
11:20 Intro to Integral and Ken Wilber: Book: Integral Vision
12:15 Integral Theory gives you a framework
12:35 Old fashioned social media: Penthouse and sending letters towards today: how would people connect? Words, visual, psychological
15:23 Love Languages – which one is better for connection on social media?
16:30 Enneatypes are also very important: attraction-, social-, security type. Experience with online dating
17:40 Why would you use social media as a primary strategy to find a partner? Heidi’s experience
19:30 A unique situation!?
20:56 Don’t put a sexy photo on social media if you want a real partner! (Heidi) and why I don’t like dating sites
23:28 Martin S: It is about Intent. 2001 in UK first social media site to connect with historic ex friends of college times
25:00 2007 Facebook opened its doors to non-students, city based, MS was one of the first there – “Are you on Facebook?
26:10 What is your intent? Accordingly you act on social media as you know the steps to change the relationship I am already having with someone – like in real life
27:05 The signal of attention is understood as a signal of intent
27:36 Social Media and Video tools have changed the way of getting to know each other
28:35 MU Before internet we had a very limited access to people – versus the overflow and sense of abondance of possibiliites of today which makes choosing more difficult and a lot of people of other social strada or interests
31:00 the cosmic address and compatability: Integral lense important to navigate the internet and ask the right questions to prequalify potential people
33:00 why there are so many singles and short term serial monogamy
33:50 MS Is the nature of relationships evolving because of technology?
34:50 the nature of relationships is totally different now business wise
35:15 MU it is all about expectations – agreements
36:42 Is there such a thing as a soul mate?
40:42 MU addresses a question of Zuzu
43:56 MU addresses a question about how soon we can recognize the levels of consciousness? Some good advice what to ask a potential partner
46:00 compatibily – checking out before the investing energy?
47:46 Listen to people what and how they speak and how the body language is.
48:49 MU About body language
49:56 The first impression
50:15 MU addresses the question of Krystin
51:30 avoiding physical contact by overcompensating by spending time on Internet
53:01 Naira from Baku joins the conversation
53::40 A testimonial for Martin’s book and how Naira found a person
54:20 Erotica shyness and situation in a Moslem country and in Russia
55:40 Dinner together via Skype
56:10 Mark: Meeting each other in person is just the beginning
56:50 Relationship as inter being and inter becoming
57:50 Commitments and agreements before entering in a committed relationship
How to nurture your relationship with yourself while changing the world
00:00 – 04:40 We introduce the show and our guest, Cecile Green of Collab
04:40 – 10:36 Some history and roots, from Holacracy, onto more integral forms of organization which include relationships within the organization. Some of those practices include purpose, business model, strategy. 10:36 – 13:40 How to bring in aspects that other approaches do not deal with? What about “feminine” approaches, or the unspoken concerns.
13:40 – 18:14 Theory U as an informer of Collab which doesn’t depend solely on our cognitive abilities. So, how to admit safely other aspects of self into the usual business conversations?
18:14 – 20:50 How to learn the process: like waves crashing upon each other! (It gets better.)
20:50 – 22:58 Building trust and safety: transparency and more. How to achieve it.
22:58 – 27:41 What if everyone in the organization is not on “board”? Limits of transparency?
28:05 – 29: 35 Alternatives for conflict resolution inside the organizations
28:40 – 31:20 Who decides if an enterprise wants to try Collab? Top Down usually for most.
31:20 – 33:40 Legal structures and how Collab can help. Readiness is necessary!
34:00 – 38:08 Fitting these new relationships into the Four Quadrants model. Practices.
38:08 – 41:03 Practices and rituals that change organizational culture
41:03 – 44:37 More about feminine aspects of being and operating
45:30 – 53:50 Basic questions for women: combining work and children with Collab, perennial concerns
53:50 – 59:12 Resources, learning opportunities, “somatic presence”, training how to reach Collab, thank you’s, appreciations…and all that was “prescribed” in the discussion, audience comments, the Blab afterwards, connecting with us.
00:00 – 06:12 Introductions of the show and the guests, Lisa Engles and Kim Carpenter and websites: www.wakeupandchangetheworld
06:52 – 07:56 What do we need to do in order to change the world? Be outrageous lovers!
07:56 – 10:05 To be outrageous lovers we need a relationship! Kim explains.
10:05 – 16:15 How to find the right way of addressing people so as to create a business relationship? Start with yourself. Both Kim and Lisa respond to narrow down the focus: Love as a perception. 16:25 – 17:25 Implementing that love as a practice with potential clients. Asking, inquiry
17:50 – 22:50 Who do you ask? Kim says: Whoever you know…or knew! Lisa adds: Social media! Kim adds: Reciprocity!
24:39 – 27:46 Listening! Lisa comments: Make it NOT about you! Help others to feel heard.
28:04 – 30:00 Overcoming the me, me, me thing. What tools to use? ROE (return on engagement)
30:02 – 32:44 How do we evolve? Kim explains. How to be curious? Work on ourselves.
32:45 – 40:10 Showing up, live streaming video. Transparency! Body language.
40:10 – 45:00 ”Coming out” How to show up. And how to sell?
45:10 – 47:35 Kim adds a point about using video, even if your “product” itself isn’t “for” video.
48:38 – 50:58 Lisa talks about their “Evolutionary Business Accelerator” course
51:00 – 54:08 What Heidi has gotten out of the program (no rehearsal here!) and a little pitch
54:08 – 55:10 I add my 2 cents
55:11 – 56.05 Implementation and focussing on the right thing
56:05 Closing activities, follow up on Blab, final words, thank you’s and compliments….
0:47I don’t see myself as a business person Hans and Heidi share
2:35Business-mindset? What do we need?
3:41Mark’s share: Merchants, bankers etc are “enemies” in his family.
4:48The “blue” vision of the 50ies – and: you cannot trust business people – also in the “green worldview”, in integral and spiritual circles
6:22Hans shares from his job as a social worker
8:10Heidi’s upbringing: women don’t really need to earn money, let alone build a business – unless you grow up in a business family
9:25Women specific: selling myself? Sounds like prostitution
10:43not every manipulation is bad. Example voice training
12:04The issue with feeling unworthy
12:28Business people give advice which we normally wouldn’t do: “First get people to pay you and then create the program”
13:42Project for the Integral Conference – an experience with choosing offers
15:30Is expensive better?
16:04What is your worth in a job interview?
17:40If your passion is popular, it is easy, but not of it is not so obvious for people
18:25Social media: different chances to make money depending on the practical needs of many people
19:30We think we are producers, but we are consumers – the promises of the marketing teachers
21:05Do we need to promise potential clients instant results
22:48Spiral dynamis teaches that what we are offering has less audience, while Hans “makes his living on the misery of the world” as a social worker
23:35Who pays? Example Italy – Germany
24:39Very rich or very down – too get intensive personal assistance
26:02What do people when Hans’s clients leave? He wants to make himself unnecessary – sometimes in contrast to the ideas of the company
29:09Relationship building through social media: importance of video, the danger of engaging in social media
31:40 Henrik Joins the conversation
33:07 Talking about the European INtegral conference and the “super human potential course”
35:00Hans gives a summary of the main show: Hopw to get your message out.
36:15Henrik is interested in exploring the business arena: a way to integrate “orange”: how to talk to different levels of consciousness?
39:00also Politicians: how can they speak to address things – multi narrative level: FInd the skillful means to address the problems
41:50For the cause of humanity the integral community has to come up with some helpful skilfull means – you cannot force everyone to be at the same level
43:40A lot is already happening with the “green” technology etc
44:20Integral is not just a theory but comes online naturally example: the German Chancellor Angela Merkel
46:35 The terrorists and refugee question has awakened some green politicians. The European Parliament and countries are not collaborating unfortunately, but behave more like psychopaths = rests on amber and red level. Lack of efficiency, transparency, trust. Contracting instead of growing
49:00The bright side of that: heightens the motivation to find more intelligent solutions: Challenges make you grow
51:35Going off topic
52:25Back to marketing – basic patterns everywhere in life
53:00 with the integral perspective you more and more notice and appreciate all these different levels and understand the importance of addressing them all
53:35What is the tech problem?
55:04Wrap up by Hans: social media – you can easily get lost. YOu need to limit yourself and be focused. Thrilled by technology – and sooo much information is exhausting.
58:30 Henrik:It is similar to the mindfulness instruction: Internet is like mind chatter: you need to organize your focus. These times are calling for us to be attentive
1:01:00It was never more challenging than now, because…
1:02:00“Information addiction” – we need tofind a balance and get some discipline
Ulrike Haiden and Harald Kastner
Walking the purpose way as a Conscious Business couple
April 1st 2016
Welcome to StopTheRelationShiT. Below you will find the replays for Season 3 of The Wisdom Factory.
Video replays are posted within 3 days of the live event.
Any questions – click on Contact Us in the menu above.
2:25Despite our differences, we can be and work together, example: the dishes.
5:09Tolerating is “to live in pain” – better to accept and respect. How to do that?
7:10We are not here to fulfill wishes – is it easier in a business relationship?
8:08Everything depends on the quality of the relationship – no matter what.
10:30 Mark’s history of work versus Heidi’s conception of work. Ulrike’s experience with work as an employee.
13:48Is doing business like a spiritual teaching? Fast track to “enlightenment.”
15:11The right thing arrives when you need it. We want to teach what we experienced ourselves, what we understood, inspire to overcome false beliefs and limitations, and contribute to others.
19:00Old habits come back during the growth process. Understanding Integral makes a HUGE difference. What do I REALLY want? What qualities a partner needs to have. Referring to Keith Witt: Love IS conditional in a good relationship.
23:00 Reliability and transparency are important. You need to COMMUNICATE and trust in the relationship. Arguing is important. Referring to Cecile Green and Collab.
27:50Couples and teams need external input and feedback. Customers reaction: people can tell before you even know what is going on in your relationship.
29:14Marks “devilish” question about what Ulrike & Harald see in us? Mark’s “confession”: “It takes so damn much honesty.”
33:10Rationality instead of “thinking” – what is possible today with transparency?
34: 45Intimate relationships train us for other relationships.
35:30 The model of U&H is like an “onion” – in time you understand your business: vision, mission, purpose, meaningfulness.
37:17Is “meaning” included in “purpose”?
37:42 A question from the audience: What is the most difficult part about working together as a couple?
42:10Knowing about our patterns is extremely important (shadow, types, beliefs, etc.). Example: Heidi & Mark taking responsibility for their own patterns is a prerequisite for a good relationship.
44:50Tolerance = feeling the pain inside – until you shoot the other.
47:20When you are inside a certain mindset, you REALLY believe it and cannot see outside it and imagine something else. Mark’s story about his mother.It took the dementia to finally have some emotional authenticity.
50:45Burying the pain inside. The barrier removed frees the pain: the better way is to COMMUNICATE the pain, also in business. A chance for healthier business and a HEALTHIER WORLD.
52:50What you don’t discuss in the beginning, you won’t be able to later either. Leading to painful break-ups. Love may be unconditional, but relationship is not. When you have enough from the RelationshiT, you are ready to grow.
55:00If there is no common purpose, the business fails.
David Amerland, Jeff Salzman, Katherine Woodward Thomas, Martin Ucik, Lisa Engles, Kim Carpenter, Heidi Hornlein and Mark Davenport
8:29Martin Ucik’s response. Love relationship include all 7 chakras and it makes come out of us the best and the worst
10:20The development of relationships
12:58Katherine Woodward Thomas: Making relationship the area of our contribution. Awakening. The lived field of ONEness.
18:10Lisa Engles: the connection crisis – Facebook: disconnect by social comparison. Trust-crisis, intimacy-crisis: what is the narrative around relationship?
20:42David Amerland: communities: zero sum game fractures community. Transition from thought legacy of the 20th century to a new way of connecting
24:24Jeff SalzmanComing together globally. Thoughts are things and create groves in the cosmos. Global communication technologies re-enforce everybody’s worldviews. Changes in the ability of concentration.
28:04DEPTH AND SPAN, CONCIOUS INCOMPETENCE
28:47Martin Ucik: depth and span in dating and relating
30:12Jeff Salzman. Isis etc: use Internet… a new movement: Jeff talks about a film: “let’s just not know” – brains saturated in porn – consequences… Humans figure it out – integrate a new synthesis
32:40David Amerland: the way brains function. Growing up in our world. Facebook: essentially self-destructive. Change the condition and destructiveness goes away. Social Media: empowering and challenging. WE NEED TO CHALLENGE OURSELVES -essentially it will lead us to ONE world
37:54Katherine Woodward Thomas: development of INTERIORITY becomes mainstream. What’s missing on Facebook is leadership. Authenticity and Vulnerability of being human: Brene Brown. Online learning communities. LEVELUCIONARY
41:38Katherine invites Kim to speak
42:10Kim Carpenter How do we bring into business what we have learnt about relatedness? Traditional experts and traditional selling versus relationship marketing
45:15Heidi appreciytion of Katherine’s teaching, Katherine’s response: we need each other for coming into the fulness of ourselves. Self awareness, self responsibility ……
47:05Mark about the second half of life: Ageism: the second half of life is OUR Future
48:49David’s response: older people in tribes were a valued source – what is the value of the individual. With ageing we grow into interiority
51:54Martin Ucik: Grouping people with shared worldview & Males and Females: how can they be in a new dialectical process. Levels of consciousness: how can children be supported who are disadvantaged. Warning about our post-modern
54:34Jeff Salzman about Reddit (versus Facebook) upvoting of comments: As evolutionaries see what may be next?
57:15David responds to the culture of Reddit the positive and down side: Unless we have mindfulness it creates a mob instead of a crowd. Technology is a TOOL. David’s experience in fitness-communities: the initial conditions are important. It applies also to relationships and the sense of belonging
1:02:32 Lisa and Kim about their experience in community building: Internet is the real world on steroids. We need to learn to manage the technology. Digital intimacy, digital integrity. The concept of digital immigrants as opposed to children who are born into the digital era. Millenials didn’t grow up with iPads
1:07:33Kim’s take on the topic: digital integrity: have shared agreements AND model ourselves: How am I going to show up? How do we create relatedness BEFO>RE we are inside of a community?
1:09:35Heidi: on the internet: everything is recorded and stays there
1:10:07Beginning the wrap up David Amerland: be simply who you are
1:11:28Katherine Woodward Thomas : Acknowledging all for the depth and intelligence for the good in the world
1:12:27Jeff Salzman: inspired as well – just be who we are ever more: “each church has a congregation of ONE”
1:13:32Lisa Engles speaks for Kim also: Thanks for bringing us together – move the narrative forward
After Show Blab Heidi & Mark and Cristina Sundström, Hans Kalben, Henrik Wredmark and a guest
0:46Cristina talks about the main show and Henrik joins the group
1:18Henrik’s appreciation: the wisdom shared in the main show about technology, possibilities and needs to be carefull. Connectivity in loving and embracing way – and “tough work” with the red level people
3:14the panel discussion and our meetings here as a contribution to create connectivity. Coming out of hiding using excuses.
5:33We always have these younger parts with us but learn to handle them. The “new” and the “old” you. The internet stores the old version of you.
7:00Internet creates a huge amount of data for human development. We can learn to be compassionate with ourselves.
8:54Cristina: “interiority” and “we all matter”. She appreciates her being with us oin the conversations “I feel I matter”. Going out is an adventure – and going inside, too. She reports to have come out of a cave = a treasure to go back and re.watch the recordings.
12:07Hans appreciation of the main show and the thoughts about technology – as a tool (referring to what David Amerland said). Navigating the 2 poles of being caught up in Internet and using it well.
15:10All is so new to us and our system has to learn how to handle it – our conversation is REAL life?
16:37depth and span – an old story and we are struggling with it now. Everything goes so much quicker and we are called to more intuition and being in the now (example: an accident)
20.10all is a drive towards development. Skillful means to address lower levels. We HAVE to step up and find a way, everybody personally.
22:20What is “red” stand for? Cristina talks about encountering her own red energy inside: standing up for her beliefs.
24:24about an exaggerated response to red energy – which increases the problem instead of lowering it. The responsibility of mothers to make understand their daughter what signals they send out, unconsciously or even consciously. You cannot expect that men don’t react on the signals and blame exclusively THEM for the transgression
27:10Sweden: girls have a right to wear whatever they like: but we have to be aware about the signals we are giving out and of the possible consequences. It is also a question of development
28;40Integral speek about red energy and growing up implies more control. Power.
30:00Hans: what Quadrant are you looking at: what is my responsibility? – what has happened? – law and order structures and reinforcement until people are in “blue”
32:00with more consciousness we can prevent certain issues – how can people develop to become more responsible?
35:00the conditions create the level of which you are acting. We can practice how to behave in challenging situations. Would you know how to behave in REALLY challenging times like a war? We have every level in us and how will we decide, we don’t know for sure.
37:40All are parts od you, but they don’t dominate you any more when you are grown enough. Compassion with others because we were there. Today we can chose. Growing is inspiring. We don’t exclude any more.
40:07Coming into integral without studying integral theory. We need red energy to fulfillm on our purpose. All early levels have the pearls in them as well as the limitations. Relationship with ourselves is a relationship with a choir of voices. Meet other people in the same way as we learn to meet ourselves
43:50About schools and teachers in Sweden: treat pupils with respect and curiosity – but children in red ALSO need order and discipline. All beings thrive on loving attention.
45:40Cristina talks on being angry about NON authentic kindness.
47:00Dr. Corey: he was in love with himself until he met his wife. His story and the law of attraction: feeds the ego which wants a lot of things – a harem with a lot of women!? – His way into a happy life together
50:00the law of collaboration – the law of co-creations.
52:00 a summary of the previous show and the relationship series – consideration about connecting