“StopTheRelationShiT”- all videos 2018-01-17T17:59:23+00:00

Martin Ucik – Falling In Love With Someone Good for You.

January 15, 2016

00:00 – 04:20 Technical problems: a semi-graceful recovery (fun to watch but it gets better)!

04:20 – 07:00 Introducing Martin Ucik.. and some basic points about falling in love.

07:00 – 13:02 Making 3 basic distinctions: infatuation, psychological connections, and developing a relationship out of friendship.

13:02 – 14:50 Pitfalls of instant hormonal relationships and why do we fall OUT of love?

14:50 – 16:11 It depends on which of the 3 kinds of love we’re talking about.

17:20 – 19:38 Problems when people come from different levels of development which affect what choices are available to each in the relationship.

20:00 – 21:45 What would “integral” people do? Three parameters: intimacy, passion, commitment.

21:45 – 29:54 Levels (similar to the chakras) of “integral” and what (and how) to relate with a partner on each level. Also on their vocabulary.

29:54 – 32:15 Advice to men about sharing feelings: sometimes it’s better to share them with a friend or a professional, if the woman can’t hold those “vulnerable” feelings he expresses.

32:15 – 34:16 Subtle expression of emotions usually comes online at pluralistic “green.”

34:16 – 37:14 Beyond green – an “authentic” way to express life purpose, which may require living without a partner, but may not.

39:00 – 43:52 How to overcome the difficulties of growth; defining self-worth and identity beyond the qualities of the partner.

43:52 – 46:39 “Transcend and include” means we don’t stop all the contents of earlier stages, but we learn healthier ways to express them – right up to relationships as a spiritual practice.

46:40 –  49:10 Our efforts toward peace at home as part of creating peace on earth.

50:00 – Summary from Martin, a quick rerun, and an addendum from Heidi.

54:01 – Find Martin at integralrelationship.com for news and further info and links.

54:40 – Don’t forget the Blab afterward at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AgqZ19FpLDI

No timestamps available at the moment.

Christiane Pelmas – The Role Of Sexuality In Human Life And How We Can Use It To Grow Our Relationships.

January 22, 2016

00:00 – 3:40 Introductions

04:10 – Varied responses to our publicity and first question: What is sexuality?Christiane responds, “Generative energy that creates form out of chaos.” She explains….

06:62 – Erotic intelligence as one of Wilber’s/Gardner’s lines of intelligence?  Perhaps the primary intelligence that has allowed us to move beyond simple survival.

9:40 – Why do we have such a problem with sexuality? Religion, money, etc. “Our culture has evolved to be anti-human.”

12:25 – Are we moving toward humanization of our culture?  Christiane thinks so, of necessity.

14:00 – How basic and preoccupied we are with sexuality for very good reasons, not only out of ignorance.

15:45 – Do good relationships and good sexuality reinforce each other? Chemistry and more…

17:35 – Creating relationships “so that” we can become mystically poised to offer ourselves in all our activities for a better world.

18:50 – Is emotional intimacy necessary for a sexual relationship, for example, pornography?

22:00 – Pornography can create a feeling of wellness and safety, which backfires on us.

22:30 – 24:00 Are romance novels like pornography for women?  No, not quite!

24:00 – 26:07 Lack of caring / touching for boys after ages 5 -7.

26:07 – 28:23 How that works for girls and the outcome orientation it induces.

28:24 – Big question from a male watcher: How can males relate to women affectionately?

30:06 – 33:48 Slow down! Even though it may be unpleasant sometimes. Sensate, focus, etc.

34:12 – Presence (mindfulness, embodiment) is at the core!

35:50 – What if orgasm isn’t the end of sex, if it continues past that? And how do we get there?

37:00 – How long is your menu? It’s infinite!

38:50 – Play! Its importance and women’s (especially) changing map of sexuality.

40:14 – 42:02 MANopause!

42:02 – 46:13 The stages of sexuality over our lifetimes.

47:17 – 49:16 The later years –  what’s coming?  Deep, almost rumbling, earthquakes…

49:16 – 51:40 The denial of our down-and-dirty humanness in favor of “transcendence.” Savoring both the up AND the down.

51:41 – Blab connections (blab.im/traviata56), some personal notes, how to reach us, how to reach Christiane: christiane@me.com, rewilding.com, magnificentlover.com.

TS Blab: Sexuality in the various levels of development.

4:35 Earlier stages of humanity.

6:08 Sexuality as a developmental line?

7:32 How children perceive sex of older people, especially their parents.

8:07 We don’t yet have schemes for lines; we are new to this way of seeing things.

9:55 We are lacking the vocabulary.

11.16 Allergy or addiction.

12:19 The quadrants.

13:18 First sexuality.

14:27 Sexuality in magenta/ tribal consciousness.

17:10 Red level – power and rape.

18:36 Rape in the blue level.

21:00 Do not enjoy sex!

21:38 Sexuality in orange.

24:10 Sexuality in green.

25:30 Being born into the culture.

28:38 Being gay.

31:00 Sexual, creative, and spiritual impulse.

31:50 Conscious growth.

32:45 What comes beyond green?

33:30 Emotional intelligence and behavioral patterns.

39:00 Sexual role play.

42:57 The red level: difference men/women and gay people.

46:44 Eroticism at any moment.

48:05 The expression of sexuality.

48:54 Spirituality and sex.

50:06 Relationship to sex.

Dr. Keith Witt – Loving Completely – How We Can Learn To Keep Our Intimate Relationships Alive

January 29, 2016

00:00 – 03: 27 Introductions of ourselves and Dr. Keith

04:25 – 10:37 How come we repeat our relationship mistakes?

10:44 – 16:03 Unconditional love? Keith thinks not. Attunement is necessary.  “Be aware with acceptance and caring intent.” Self observation.

16:03 – 24:00 How can we learn acceptance? What about shame? Developmental stages.

24:00 – 25:25 “Return to Love.” Poking perfectionism and what attracts a man.

25:25 – 29:33 Clarity, changing old habits.

29:37 – 31:30 Two kinds of commitment: “I’m going to stay with you as long as …” and “I’m going to do whatever it takes to make our love work.”

31:30 – “That’s why there’s no Unconditional Love.” Love becomes ever more demanding as we grow.

35:03 – 36:11 “A tantric process that takes us both to unity with God and with each other.”

36:10 – 39:40 What about monogamy?  Monogamy promotes intimacy and depth.

39:40 – 43:54 Heidi notes that love is hard work – the opposite of what we hear in music, films, etc. How can you [Keith] inspire people to do that work?  Non-violent communication, etc.

43:55 – 45:44 It require effort!  But also play!

45:44 – 49:07 Generational changes, ignorance, and responsibility. How Keith got started.

49:07 – 54:05 Mark asks about the future of love. Keith responds.

54:05 – 59:10 Winding down remarks, asking Margherita for her takeaways.  Margherita made a drawing!  She’s not single, she’s whole!

59:47 – Last words by Mark, Keith, and Heidi.

0:44 Joachim Berggren about looking at one’s own part when in conflict.

2:01 Northern Europeans especially interested in this topic? Answer by Margherita.

3:51 Hans Kalben joins the room.

4:25 Henrik Wredmark joins the room and talks about his experience hearing Dr.Keith Witt speak.

5:15 Kids are getting better at relating and communicating.

6:00 Intergenerational relationships: children today can talk to their parents.

7:10 Relationships in the Integral world.

8:15 Margherita’s Christmas in Sweden with her family.

8:38 Monogamy – Hans Kalben.

9: 55 Growing in different directions.

11:00 A life not spent in a long-term monogamous relationship is not wasted…

11:50 Relationships give a gratis kick to personal development.

12.14 A question from the audience about an intimacy that lessoned after 24 years.

16:10 The drawing by Margherita.

17:40 A comment from the audience about friendship.

18:30 Integral relationships: we are our own best friends.

19:44 Joachim’s contribution, breakup and difficulty, commitment for future relationship.

21:00 Cultural requests in relationships – how can I be in a close relationship?

22:38 Become aware of patterns and the teachings in relationships.

23:24 Preview of next session with Katherine Woodward Thomas on Conscious Uncoupling.

24:28 A relationship beyond your wildest dreams needs dedication and effort.

25:40 Margherita on men’s way of expressing and communicating.

27:00 About playing.

28:40 Candy Javier Sakai joins from Tokyo and gives her idea about how to keep relationships alive.

30:30 Trust independent from the culture you are living in.

31:00 Japanese are conservative – only the youngest generation has changed. Life is different in Japan, and trust is necessary for a relationship.

34:32 Foreigners in Japan/ intimacy: Let’s go back to old school!

35: 20 Japanese women want blond guys; Japanese men want Russian women. Stereotypes and Prince Charming.

39:34 Levels in a relationship.

40:25 Question from the audience: What about black men in Japan?

40:45 Black men are romantic, and that is the catch for Japanese women.

41:40 What do foreigners find in Japan?

42:58 Coming back to Integral: diversity in the cultures.

44::25 Sexuality – need to know the people first?

45:00 It’s not consistency – always diversity (Candy).

45:38 Intimate relationships – how to keep them alive?

47:00 It is not that relationships just HAPPEN to stay alive.

47:30 Relationships accelerate your growth (Hans Kalben).

49:00 If you think you are enlightened, just go and visit your family for Thanksgiving.

49:15 Primary source for relationships is your motivation (Candy).

49:54 Dr.Keith Witt knows the human mind after 55,000 therapy sessions as a psychotherapist.

50:25 Hans: “The higher you go, the more conditional the love becomes.” Levels of development.

52:00 About tech challenges – the help of the universe!

Katherine Woodward Thomas – Conscious Uncoupling – The art of separation in close relationships.

February 5, 2016

00:00 Introductions

03:35 – 04:54 Heidi’s history with “Calling in the One” and Katherine’s journey.

04:54 – 07:27 “Conscious Uncoupling” as a precursor of “Calling in the One.”

07:27 – Heidi talks about how it began for us, and how it became so much more.

09:05 – Katherine’s early experiences: finding God, coming home to an empty apartment.

11:26 -12:58 Setting an intention and going within to find the barriers.

12:58 – And still we slowly drifted apart; the mission queen.

TEASER? 14:23 – 16:06 What would a “conscious separation” be like, effects on children.

17:30 – 18:26 The happily-ever-after model was created when the average life span was less than 40.

19:21 – 20. 33 How can we stay “in love” and together when mates develop at different speeds?

20:33 – 21:41 Partners being at different levels is NORMAL for long-term unions.

22:03 – 24:13 Biology conspires AGAINST breakups in general, from soul mates to soul hates!

24:32 – 25:15 “Conscious Uncoupling” and the evolution of relationships in the current context.

26:52 – 28:37 “Marriage has changed more in the last 30 years than in the 3,000 years before.”

29:09 – 29:52 At any time in history when women were on an equal power level with men, divorce rates were about the same as they are today.

29:52 – 30:33 Even the most conscious couple can become negative, stingy, etc. in the face of a breakup.

31:23 – 33:27 The Five Steps that people need for a “conscious uncoupling.” The why of it.

33:27 – 34:52 Step 1: Navigating emotions toward positive change: reclamation of anger.

34:52 – 36:51 Step 2: Reclamation of Power, because we often feel powerless; see your 3%.

36:51 – 39:28 Step 3: The meta pattern, usually from a very young age, through you, not to you.

40:18 – 45:41 Awakening from “The Story” that lives in the body – the True You Awakening.

45:42 – 46:15 Step 4: Re-engaging with your circumstances.

46:15 – 47:15 Step 5: Re-engaging beyond the personal process, with your community.

47:46 – 49:06 What if the partner doesn’t go along with the program?

50:33 – 51:12 How to get in touch with Katherine: consciousuncoupling.com, callinyoursoulpartner.com, and callingintheone.com.

51:53 – 53:13 Margherita’s takeaway: her identification with the whole process.

53:31 – 54:45 Katherine’s last words: getting more conscious and getting more command over our inner landscape – the work of our times.

54:45 Thank you’s and goodbye’s.

Participants: Heidi Hornlein, Mark Davenport, Margherita Crystal Lotus, Cristina Sundström, Hans Kalben, Rayne Dowell

 

1:18 Hans joins the conversation.

1:48 How do we separate without pain?

2:01 Hans talks about his life.

3:08 Willing to question the beliefs.

3:28 Single for many years – desire to move into a relationship?

4:26 Original source wounding –  patterns from childhood.

5:30 The longing for THE ONE.

7:10 It is up to you!

7:40 Assuming full responsibility for oneself.

9:00 Being in a relationship is the school for development.

10:10 Mark: the experiences are not wasted.

10:20 Heidi: about projections.

12:05 Catch oneself when the projection begins.

13:20 Don’t begin a relationship when you notice projection?

14:25 Margherita’s is not single but whole.

14:56 Dancing the paradox.

15:30 Enjoy living with yourself!

16:00 Cristina.

17:15  Our first relationship is with ourselves!

18:15 Start a relationship as friends.

18:50 Calling in the ONE.

19:05 Conscious uncoupling before looking for a new relationship.

20:34 The One is not what you think it is…

21:30 Relationships don’t need to last the whole life.

22:08 Cristina about separation.

23:45 If you give too much space to the other… establishing the rules.

25:55 Rayne about what we were taught: to look outside of ourselves.

26:24 Sit back and decide for yourself WHO you are.

27:25 Being whole and happy – singles.

28:36 Pioneering these new types of relationship.

29:28 Young people are growing with a different consciousness than we older ones (H+M).

30:00 The assumptions of previous generations.

30:34 Cats enter the scene.

31:32 We don’t have the language yet for the new things/consciousness now emerging.

32:35 Rayne tells about herself: intuition and getting to know yourself and your own gifts – going through the wall.

35:45 Painful breakthrough.

36:15 Comments: Women have duties towards men in Moslem cultures.

37:00 Liberation from these duties in Western cultures.

38:00 Men, get prepared!

38:22 The duty goes both ways – the liberation is for both!

39:24 Traditional worldview also in European countries.

40:18 Integral Map.

41:32 Why development is NOT “going down the drain” – things become more complicated, but….

42:30 With the responsibility for our own choices comes also the responsibility for our mistakes – but more options become available.

43:35 Heidi’s experience when the partner wants you to stay little.

44:20 Going along with the norm is more comfortable, but not authentic.

45:53 Quality over quantity.

47:00 The road less travelled – but so much MORE.

48:00 Thinking about oneself in a different way is harder than changing views about others.

48:40 Our biology is hardwired: paradox between wanting to stay the same and be curious.

49:30 Exploring humanity by exploring ourselves = next step for humanity right now.

50:20 A product of this point in history.

51:00 What if world conditions change?

51:45 Development goes 2 steps up and 1 ¾ back again…

52:00 Question about 7-year cycles.

52:35 Translation and transformation.

Jeff Salzman and Kelly Bearer – Same sex relationships – Is there a difference?

February 12, 2016

00.00 – 04:10: Audio track intro we added later, because the original track dropped out for some unknown reason.

04.10 – 5:02 We pick up with Jeff as he recounts his journey into Integral thought.

05:02 – 15:13 Jeff gets into the history of same sex relationships.

15:13 – 21:25 Kelly continues with her history – with lots of shame and guilt.

21:25 – 22:20 Jeff describes “the heartbreaking part of being gay in our generation.”

22:20 – 25:40 How did you survive that part?  What happened? Jeff: No shame! Kelly: A slow process, even after moving to Boulder.

25:40 – 28:41 Difficulties even in Integral circles; “just so straight!” And how it got better!

29:01 – 34:50 What is different/not different in same sex relationships? No need for birth control!

35:00 – 36:40 Juicy polarities remain! The greatest engine of evolution is boredom!

37:06 – 37:40 One thing that still pisses Jeff off.

38:54 – 40:54 Squashing polarities as a stage we go through – and acceptance.

40:54 – 43:14 Where is help for kids available? “Them” as a movement.

43:14 – 45:50 Cultural evolution, Deadpool, how kids dress, the Ax commercial.

45:50 – 47:47 What’s next?  What’s still taboo? Jeff, “Everybody gets to be who they are…”

47:59 – 48:56 We confess our love for Jeff’s presence and manner, and he gives thanks.
48:56 – 49:38 The Integral European Conference in Hungary in May, etc. Thank you’s.

49:38 – 50:58 Kelly’s “what’s next”: bigger containers for exploration and new contractions for new rules.

51:40 – 53:54 Margherita’s observations from “outside”: “Normal” people don’t get to explore sexuality as much as you (Jeff & Kelly) do! All those who are different.

53:54 – 54.43 Good byes (amidst us falling out again).

0:12 Jeff Salzman and The Daily Evolver

0:24 The Wisdom Factory Community (http://bit.ly/WF-community)

1:50 Hans meets Jeff the first time live on video and talks to him.

2:15 The story of Hans regarding Integral in his life.

3:20 The importance of talking to others about what we read in the books.

5:00 Talking about the show: Same Sex Relationships.

5:25 How is the discovery of being gay? Hans was lucky!

6:20 From not liking men to discovering the identity of being gay.

9:35 How is it in Germany as a culture? Is it like in the US?

10:15 It is easier in Germany to be gay?

11:15 Evolution is a matter of time.

11:58 Eros is on our side.

12:06 The more Integral, the more the Universe appears to be friendly – we can have trust and faith in it.

13:00 Other ways of living and being, which had been suppressed in the past.

15:05 Topic: Refugees.

15:20 In Berlin, an Asylum will open for LGBT refugees.

16:45 How are the refugees doing? Especially with the extra challenge?

17:20 Being gay is a reason for asking for asylum.

18:05 Feelings of liberation and safety – and overwhelm.

20:00 That’s what I love about Integral.

20:42 Social work with the AQAL approach.

21:18 A marker of Integral conciousness – you can be friends with everybody.

22:19 Jeff invites Hans on his show to talk about the refugee topic and about Germany.

23:07 The Wisdom Factory; our mission: bringing people together.

23:30 The greater We-space – enhanced by video.

24:20 Being authentic means that we don’t need to “shave and get out of our pajamas,” but just be as we are!

26:41 Meeting live – you can support us by sharing the events, bringing people in!

27:52 Please support our work!

28:50 About removing guilt.

29:25 Integral shows how guilt was important in bringing people from the egocentric to the traditional stage of development.

30:35 When we have integrated responsibility for our actions, then we can let go of guilt.

31:38 Dr.Keith Witt on the evolution of shame and guilt.

32:38 Critique of the “green” teachings – everybody is like us (or should be).

33:54 Overcome versus integrate and transform.

35:00 Something healthy about being able to feel shame.

35:40 Authenticity.

36:00 So much shame in same sex relationships.

38:10 We become relatively free. We don’t get rid of our conditioning, but we learn to not be dominated by it.

38:30 We cannot resolve these questions with the mind.

37:20 The topic is not the topic – it is about healing.

40:10 When we come into this life, we choose the area to work on: we overcome, transform, and integrate what we have learned.

41:56 We are all born with our baggage – talking about the quadrants: where we can experiment and grow.

43:20 Digging into shadow can create extra pressure; it can become an illusion and not authenticity.

44:10 Catch yourself and look at it in a playful, humble way.

44:23 Become a good parent to your younger selves.

44:50 A song: ooops. I did it again.

David Amerland

Why trust is essential in human relationships, at home and in business.

February 26, 2016

00:00 – 04:51 Intros of us, of our guest David Amerland, and our special back-up friend, Melanie Hall.  

4:51 – 10:05 David begins with a mental game to show why we need trust to lead to understanding

11:16 – 17:30 David responds to trust questions by Heidi: example: VW. vs. Toyota

17:30 – 22:25 Moving toward transparency? In the “we” space we know instinctively who to trust but in the I/them space, as between cultures, trust becomes not so ”instinctive”.  Likewise on the web.

22:25 – 27:18 The net vs. old brand loyalty and new contexts, trust requires mutual vulnerability and symmetry. example of Amazon vs, Italy and a little shop in Perth in Australia.

27:20 – 29:53  Changing loyalties among different demographic groups and various social media

29:55 – 31:27 Origins of the cultures of Facebook and Google and the consequences thereof.  “On Google+…the data is yours.  But with Facebook you can’t close your account, they just suspend it and your data is theirs.

31:27 – 32:53 Young people are not naive about the security of various platforms

32:55 – 34:18 More news about the world warps our idea of how “bad” things are.  But we are planting seeds of trust around the word.

34:20 – 37:36 “There may be mistrust but mistrust doesn’t mean a complete absence of trust.” David explains.

37:36 – 41:53 Trust from relationship from communication.  Works both personally and in business. Measure trust with a trustometer..and then more seriously and all parties are in a fluid flux continually.

42:10 – 49:20 Back to instincts and why trust is so hard to maintain. VW again. German rationality vs. cultural sensitivity and perceptions.With a global culture you have to overlook cultural differences and look for cultural similarities.

49:41 – 55:05 Melanie takes a turn and applies trust to current politicians – especially ONE politician – and David responds that transparency is not enough, we need to see actions, motives, intent, context and a look at history and what we can learn in retrospect.

55:05 – 58:47 Final observations, takeaways, announcements, thank you’s and goodbye’s.

TS Blab on Trust /Amerland  

00:00 Welcome and short overview over what was talked about in the main show

4:02 VW in German has lost trustworthiness – ask Hans in Germany

5:45 Meloney: It will take years to built up trust again

7:15 A challenge fo my German identity (Heidi)

8:15 Now nothing is any more produced in one only country

8:45 Back to trust – levels of development and type dependent

11:20 Trust and expectations in context

12:40 Less deception when you look from an integral perspective – the world becomes more friendly

13:50 “Speaking through the flower” – hinting as a communication desaster

15:50 Saying everything instead of hinting is not a guarantee for good communication. Transparency is not the total indicator for trust

17:25 Berlusconi in Italy: You see what you get, so you would be able to chose (if you could see it)

19:00 We can forgive betrayal more of brands than of people

20:08 Initial trust situations in early childhood

22:34 trajectory of close relationships

24:00 What is your motivation for being transparent?

26:00 Importance of timeing of transparency

28:10 You are not in control of what others do with the information you gave them

29:10 When the groom doesn’t show up for the wedding

31:03 Henrik: it is about trusting yourself

33:25 the importance of types (enneagram) and education

35:35 Roy Montero appears for a Monologue

37:32 Mark addresses the “black-and-white” perspective

39:10 Hans: Starting out with trust or with a little suspicion?

40:40 Building relationships quick – Heidi stresses the importance of being able to SEE the speaker

42:30 Seeing people is a different way of communication

44:42 Heidi’s response to Roy: the voice is important, but body language adds to the communication

46:46 Trust in connection with attachment styles

49:00 Meloney asks If you cannot trust yourself you cannot trust others so easily: as you know how you manipulate yourself…… if you did untrustworthy things you don’t trust others 10 times more

50:30 Criminals are very suspicious

52:04 Time heals all wounds?

53:36 We need to tell ourselves a different story

54:50 Self fulfilling prophesy – Hans’s experience as a social worker

56:19 Comment: time destorts details

57:50 Henrik: we try to avoic danger – and add to our suffering

58:33 Mark in favour of time: life experiences come when they come

1:00:00 The decision that things won’t happen any more is not enough: The door opener for Mark: Ken WIlber and Integral Theory seeing the past in a different light

1:02:25 Heidi: Did I waste my time in the past?

1:03:05 Does relocation help? – Heidi’s story to go to Italy and Hans tells his story

1:05:51 Drug addiction – you take your patterns with you….

1:08:00 You can see yourself as fresh, the open moment

1:10:25 You can look at yourself with their eyes

1:11:20 Coming together in family – the old habits – release your expectations

1:14:58 We are co-creating the conversation

Martin Shervington & Martin Ucik – Social Media and Intimate Relationships.

February 19, 2016

2:20     Is Social Media included in the concept of Integral Relationships by Martin Ucik?

2:45     MS: people connect for falling in love – and Internet is a way for doing that

3:50     contact requests on social media

4:50     How Heidi handles contact requests on social media

6;20     on social media you can find people of common ground

7:05     What is an Integral Relationship?

7:30     Looking through the integral lense on any relationship with the “4 Quadrants”

9:00     Typical types of relationships

10:02   Integral couple – masculine and feminine balance

10:41   Referral to David Deida and Ken Wilber

11:20   Intro to Integral and Ken Wilber: Book: Integral Vision

12:15   Integral Theory gives you a framework

12:35   Old fashioned social media: Penthouse and sending letters towards today: how would people connect? Words, visual, psychological

15:23   Love Languages – which one is better for connection on social media?

16:30   Enneatypes are also very important: attraction-, social-, security type. Experience with online dating

17:40   Why would you use social media as a primary strategy to find a partner? Heidi’s experience

19:30   A unique situation!?

20:56   Don’t put a sexy photo on social media if you want a real partner! (Heidi) and why I don’t like dating sites

23:28   Martin S: It is about Intent. 2001 in UK first social media site to connect with historic ex friends of college times

25:00   2007 Facebook opened its doors to non-students, city based, MS was one of the first there – “Are you on Facebook?

26:10   What is your intent? Accordingly you act on social media as you know the steps to change the relationship I am already having with someone – like in real life

27:05   The signal of attention is understood as a signal of intent

27:36   Social Media and Video tools have changed the way of getting to know each other

28:35   MU Before internet we had a very limited access to people – versus the overflow and sense of abondance of possibiliites  of today which makes choosing more difficult and a lot of people of other social strada or interests

31:00   the cosmic address and compatability: Integral lense important to navigate the internet and ask the right questions to prequalify potential people

33:00   why there are so many singles and short term serial monogamy

33:50   MS  Is the nature of relationships evolving because of technology?

34:50   the nature of relationships is totally different now business wise

35:15   MU  it is all about expectations – agreements

36:42   Is there such a thing as a soul mate?

38:20   “Suprasex”

40:42   MU addresses a question of Zuzu

43:56   MU addresses a question about how soon we can recognize the levels of consciousness? Some good advice what to ask a potential partner

46:00 compatibily – checking out before the investing energy?

47:46   Listen to people what and how they speak and how the body language is.

48:49   MU About body language

49:56   The first impression

50:15   MU addresses the question of Krystin

51:30   avoiding physical contact by overcompensating by spending time on Internet

53:01   Naira from Baku joins the conversation

53::40  A testimonial for Martin’s book and how Naira found a person

54:20   Erotica shyness and situation in a Moslem country and in Russia

55:40   Dinner together via Skype

56:10   Mark: Meeting each other in person is just the beginning

56:50   Relationship as inter being and inter becoming

57:50   Commitments and agreements before entering in a committed relationship

Alex Howard

 How to nurture your relationship with yourself while changing the world

March 4, 2016

00:00 – 03:45 Introductions of ourselves, our shows…and Alex!

03:45 – Alex tells how it all came about, from severe chronic illness as a teenager onward

07:15 – He founded Optimum Health Clinic in his 20’s, also integral, The Diamond Approach

08:15 – The collision of the inner and the outer worlds, Heidi asks why it doesn’t “show” in how he appears in the world. Alex says that it’s complicated…but possible for many

11:30 – Mark asks about the nature of such conditions as Alex had suffered, Chronic Fatigue, Fibromyalgia – but Heidi now remembers her question first – Alex responds to Mark first.

16:40 – Alex looks at some ways to misuse spiritual practices in healing-

17:30 – How to nurture yourself while doing what you’re passionate about.

18:07 – “Religion of the External World” and the perils of imbalance

20:22 – How to get postmodern people to make things happen in the world.

21:13 -” We’re actually most alive when live is challenging us.”

21:30 – Alex’s respects for the Diamond Approach and integrating the inner and the outer

23:19 – Relationship as a practice, Mark and Heidi ‘fess up’.

24:35 – How can intergral people “show up” in leadership, i.e: Marianne Williamson running for Congress?  Alex notes the problem of a poor work ethic, compromises, the real world.

30:00 – Emotional Resilience? Learning from failure. A message from Conscious2.

33:49 – Alex’s brief flirtation with political involvement.  Bigger question of how to “come out” and all the prep work before you’re “on camera.”

38:37 – A bit of shameless promotion

41:20 – The future of Conscious2…the Netflix model? Upcoming interviews

44:38 – And after Conscious2? First an expansion, he insists.

45:50 – Heidi asks about Alex’s self care. And the world his generation is creating.

49:35 – Alex gives credit to mentors and earlier generations.

52:11 – Gratefulness for people to connect to.  Missing the internet on vacation!

57:00 – Wrapping up, announcements, thank you’s and good bye’s

0:05 Alex answers the question of Naira: It takes time and it is important what we prioritize

Take every moment and use it as best you can

2:40 Managing your states

2:54 Naira

4:11 Hans expresses his appreciation and talks about the challenges in his job where he is working with refugees

7:13 meaningful work

8:30 Alex comments on Hans: how many people close their eyes!

9:00 The challenge is the place where you are growing

10:29 Aline Boundy joins the conversation – about hiding and things take time, what are we here to do?

12:16 Recovery from addiction – stigma and hiding

13:45 Aline’s direct experience with refugees in Greece

15:20 Re-think: what am I actually doing to help? -Integral?

16:00 Thanks to Heidi Aline encounters Integral thought

16:30 Mark inquires about the secrecy around addiction

18:16 Alex comments on Integral and addiction

20:00 About addiction as a spiritual path

21:30 Naira about smoking and dancing therapy – 28 miles of cigarettes (Mark) – caneron vocal cords

26:13 Aline’s exit from adiction

27:00 the spiritual experience of Aline which caused her stopped drinking

32:30 About the relationship with ourselves

33:15 Naira wants to be without adiction

34:20 No other addictions put a heavy load on cigarettes

34:50 Other “normal” addictions (Hans)

37:25 “Publicity” for conscious 2

Cecile Green

The importance of considering the human relationships in your business structure

March 11, 2016

00:00 – 04:40 We introduce the show and our guest, Cecile Green of Collab

04:40 – 10:36 Some history and roots, from Holacracy, onto more integral forms of organization which include relationships within the organization.  Some of those practices include purpose, business model, strategy.
10:36 – 13:40 How to bring in aspects that other approaches do not deal with? What about “feminine” approaches, or the unspoken concerns.  

13:40 – 18:14 Theory U as an informer of Collab which doesn’t depend solely on our cognitive abilities.  So, how to admit safely other aspects of self into the usual business conversations?

18:14 – 20:50 How to learn the process: like waves crashing upon each other!  (It gets better.)

20:50 – 22:58 Building trust and safety: transparency and more.  How to achieve it.

22:58 – 27:41 What if everyone in the organization is not on “board”? Limits of transparency?

28:05 – 29: 35 Alternatives for conflict resolution inside the organizations

28:40 – 31:20 Who decides if an enterprise wants to try Collab? Top Down usually for most.

31:20 – 33:40 Legal structures and how Collab can help. Readiness is necessary!

34:00 – 38:08 Fitting these new relationships into the Four Quadrants model.  Practices.

38:08 – 41:03 Practices and rituals that change organizational culture

41:03 – 44:37 More about feminine aspects of being and operating

45:30 – 53:50 Basic questions for women: combining work and children with Collab, perennial concerns

53:50 – 59:12 Resources, learning opportunities, “somatic presence”, training how to reach Collab, thank you’s, appreciations…and all that was “prescribed” in the discussion, audience comments, the Blab afterwards, connecting with us.

After Show Blab After Cecile Green

 

0:00 Intro and summary about the previous show with Cecile Green entitled: The importance of considering the human relationships in your business structure.

2:16 Welcoming Cristina and Kate

2:58 Cristina’s appreciation for co-operation + Heidi gives a summary of the main broadcast

4:00 the importance of transparency

5:00 Kate reports of the benefit she is having from the shows – and the new type of business she is creating with her husband

7:20 the need of honesty for success – the misleading informations of many people who market their courses. We need to find our own way.

9:00 The American way of business – business ethics: make money by being honest for a sustainable new way of living and doing business

11.00 New ways of business is based on relationships and trust – example by Heidi

13:10 Reminding of the topic trust with David Amerland 2 weeks ago

Kate reports about a book by 2 young German guys inspiration for how to do business differently: real relationship between people who provide things and those who receive

16:00 Cristina has had a different experience and hopes to create her own business soon by learning more

17:05 Returning to the model discussed in the main show with  Cecile Green: what COLLAB is about

20:20 We have to listen to so many business gurus, really? We need to resonate with who we are and not lie the life of somebody else

22:18 Our responsibility is to recognize it and not fall into the trap. How to find the right way for us?

24:00 Less people follow us but they will come back

25:00 Kate expresses her trust: a testimonial for Heidi and Mark

27:40 The practice of appreciation

29:04 We need to stop criticizing ourselves and others in order to live in a good atmosphere. Kate shares her experience

31:45 We need to do the work (of getting conscious) and not believe that things go differently without any effort on our side. We need to change the old patterns with practice

34:20 Laughter instead of blame

34:52 Cristina: Learning to value yourself

35:28 Cristina about her stay in Paradiso Integrale (with Heidi and Mark)

36:20 Heidi shared her experience with appreciations and the ability to accept it

38:00 What Cecile said about growing oneself also in the worklife

39:15 About psychopaths and narcissists: playing games versus healthy environment where natural growth can happen.

41:37 Another thank you by Kate

43:04 Making mistakes shows our humanness as opposed to be perfect everywhere

43:55 In a group of genuine people psychopaths disappear – you need to be strong in yourself (with high self esteem and self love) and don’t buy into other people’s games

46:07 Being strong – what does it mean?

47:14 In Patriarchy pressure was normal towards women AND men. How to change that in time

48:44 Last words Cristina

49:32 Kate’s message

50:14 Mark’s appreciation: he is with his people. Power hierarchy is independent of gender

51:00 Heidi’s message get rid of “power over” and go to “power to do something”. Going from Modernism into Postmodernism

52:15 a nice closing

Lisa Engles and Kim Carpenter

Creating and curating relationships as the fundamental tool for bringing your message into the world.

March 18, 2016

00:00 – 06:12 Introductions of the show and the guests, Lisa Engles and Kim Carpenter and websites: www.wakeupandchangetheworld

06:52 – 07:56 What do we need to do in order to change the world? Be outrageous lovers!

07:56 – 10:05 To be outrageous lovers we need a relationship! Kim explains.

10:05 – 16:15 How to find the right way of addressing people so as to create a business relationship?  Start with yourself.  Both Kim and Lisa respond to narrow down the focus: Love as a perception.
16:25 – 17:25 Implementing that love as a practice with potential clients. Asking, inquiry

17:50 – 22:50 Who do you ask? Kim says: Whoever you know…or knew! Lisa adds: Social media! Kim adds: Reciprocity!

24:39 – 27:46 Listening! Lisa comments: Make it NOT about you! Help others to feel heard.

28:04 – 30:00 Overcoming the me, me, me thing.  What tools to use? ROE (return on engagement)

30:02 – 32:44 How do we evolve? Kim explains.  How to be curious?  Work on ourselves.

32:45 – 40:10  Showing up, live streaming video. Transparency!  Body language.

40:10 – 45:00 ”Coming out” How to show up.  And how to sell?

45:10 – 47:35 Kim adds a point about using video, even if your “product” itself isn’t “for” video.

48:38 – 50:58 Lisa talks about their “Evolutionary Business Accelerator” course

51:00 – 54:08 What Heidi has gotten out of the program (no rehearsal here!) and a little pitch

54:08 – 55:10 I add my 2 cents

55:11 – 56.05 Implementation and focussing on the right thing

56:05 Closing activities, follow up on Blab, final words, thank you’s and compliments….

After Show Blab: After Lisa Engles and Kim Carpenter

 

1:25 Naira talks about the relationshit happening just now

4:45 TrANSPARENCY OR NOT?

5:35 Cristina: the importance of being ourselves

6:05 What we picked up from the main show with Lisa&Kiim: MAke some money with what we are called to do.

8:34 Social listening

10:45 Henrik: the relationship between survival, selling and shame to ask for money (in the levels of development

12:45 About Charles Eisenstein: gift economy and basic income – survival mode: the impact on people example Heidi and Mark

16:16 Henrik’s thoughts about basic income: feeling secure when wanting to create something different

17:45 Would RED exploit such a thing?

18:12 Cristina: what about being WORTHY of money – a women’s predicament and also as a topic of Western Culture

23:40 Henrik: A movie about Saint Francis – an experiment to be like this TODAY: a video diary

26:11 You need to be a special kind of person to explore this kind of freedom

26:40 Basic income: Heidi allows separation (in a couple)

28:00 Heidi’s story – connection with age and upcoming preoccupation

30;00 pressure in the system makes you scared of taking risks if you need safety. Basic income would free the energies – even for RED

34:38 People do the “wrong” work and could change the job

35:30 Working on something new takes time before you see the result – the conditionings of thought create the felt experience

37:42 Testimonial for Heidi by Cristina and Henrik

39:18 The more you grow the more you get aware  – everybody has to struggle with something. The importance of support/ community

41:08 A reminder that makes a difference: the example Jeff Salzman

41:55 Another appreciation by Cristina – an example of the false belief “I am not heard”

44:25 Spirituality: a difference for men and women – Cristina quotes Ken Wilber. Transcendence versus grounded and connected

46:38 Traditional Spirituality: founded by MEN

48:05-51:35 Get rid of our Ego? A consideration of the concept from the perspective of the levels of development

51:45 A question of the definition of the concepts – no ego = borderline

52:36 The expression of unhealthy ego

53:40 What you resist persists

54:30 The aim of our community gatherings: mutual support

Martin Shervington

Relationship building through social media: How it works and why it is so important.

March 25, 2016