December 16th at 10 AM PT/ 7 PM CET

The secret promise of ageing


This episode in our series is special: father and son coming in together and talk about LIFE and AGEING. A heartwarming confession of love of the man, having grown older and wiser in a long life.

The father, Christopher Foster, is a gifted writer. Durwin Foster, the son, is a counsellor, researcher and writer with a strong background in mindfulness-based and integrally-informed approaches to psychology.

portraits of Christopher and Durwin Foster

STREAMED LIVE HERE on December 16th 2016

The Secret Promise of Ageing

Live Conversation with Durwin and Christopher Foster


00:00 mechanics and introductions

05:20 First question.  Why did you suggest, Durwin, that your dad join you for the conversation?

08:00 What is this “secret promise of ageing”? “I can become conscious of my own spirit

11.10 (At your age) why do you say you have more time?

14:41 Acknowledging viewers and Durwin’s expansion on Christopher’s remarks.

17:25 How did you accomplish your progress down this path, Christopher?  He describes his start in a spiritual community and learned how to change anxiety into joy.

21:03 “When I was no longer afraid of death, I was no longer afraid of (colon) cancer.”

23:15 “It has given me more time to get to know cou, Durwin.”

24:40 More audience comments…and further “reconsiderations” of Christopher’s relationship with his father.

28:44 Mark reports also a “revised “ memory of his father.  Durwin speaks of “life review”.

30:50 Comments by audience, Christopher comments on his fragile memory, and more comments on life review and tools to use.

34:10 Durwin comments on this special moment in his relationship with father…and mother!  The story of her sudden death and possible near death communication with her.

40:42 How long can people who are “passing” live in “both worlds”?

44:30 More audience comments and Mark asks Durwin what is new is his relationship with his dad recently especially in his ability to be “present” and be “still”.

48:40 Heidi asks what advice does Christopher have for younger “ ageing” people in their 50’s, 60’s and 70’s. He replies “Be still and know that I (pointing to himself and we) am God.” Feel the stillness within, be present, be willing to change so new pathways can open.

53:23 Comments from audience, final remarks, take aways, acknowledgements, thank yous and good byes: How can business and noise lead to stillness.  Durwin’s reports of recent discoveries, mindfulness, Ken Wilber’s work, importance of practices, neuroplasticity, responsibility. Christopher adds the importance of having a favorite spot in nature for stillness.


This episode in our series is special: father and son coming in together and talk about LIFE and AGEING . As the father, Christopher Foster, is a gifted writer I leave the introduction to him. (Taken from his Bio on Amazon)

“They say aging is a sad and sorry business, and of course it is, in a way. They say cancer is a sad and sorry business, too, and of course it is. Yet here I am, in my 80’s–having experienced both of these events–and I can truthfully say I am happier now than I have ever been.

How could this be? Here’s what I have discovered. The tribulations that come to us can actually be a door to a new life if we are willing to face them and learn from them. They can be the catalyst that awakens us to a place of profound joy and peace within ourselves that is utterly unconcerned and unhurt by any of our earthly travails.

This is what I love to write about now: The extraordinary opportunity we have in any moment to be still for a moment in the midst of tumult and open our eyes and heart to the wonder of existence and the presence of the Eternal in our own heart. To quote the timeless words of Psalm 46:10: “Be still and know that I am God.” My love and blessings to you”


Here is what Christopher Foster writes about himself:

Hi. I’m a Brit, living in Denver, Colorado for the last 20 years, happily married to a wonderful woman named JoAnn.

I’m author of 7 inspirational books and founder of, where I blog about “finding happiness as years fly by.” I love painting pictures with words–letting my imagination roam until sooner or later a sentence emerges, then a paragraph, and finally, perhaps, with luck, a book.

Writing isn’t my only passion though. I’ve been on a spiritual journey ever since I was a teen-ager, drawn by an irresistible compulsion—very painful at times–to find greater meaning and purpose in life; to find the happiness and inner peace that I know is our birthright regardless of our age or circumstances.

And here some information on Durwin Foster, his son

Durwin Foster, M.A., CCC (#0345) is a counsellor, researcher and writer with a strong background in mindfulness-based and integrally-informed approaches to psychology. Durwin worked with Ken Wilber, a pioneer of integral theory, in the development of applications of integral theory to counselling and psychotherapy. Studying mindfulness in graduate school, Durwin was invited to an invitation-only conference with His Holiness the Dalai Lama on the topic of contemplative practices and health. Durwin has authored or co-authored several articles in peer reviewed journals, including Canadian Journal of Counselling and Psychotherapy, Journal of Integral Theory and Practice, Counseling and Values, and Transcultural Psychiatry.

Here the Video of the After Show Chat where Heidi and Mark talk informally about the show,  joined by Durwin Foster in the second half.


0:00 Waiting for community members to enter the video room

1:15 Appreciation of Chriwstopher Foster and his appearance online by Heidi

3:20 Nature and cats: : Stories around cats and looking for similarities between humans and animals, especially cats

4:30 recognizing comments and talking about the new plugin

5:00 Sunny the cat takes over the desk

5:45 back to the comment plugin

6:30 talks about the previous show and Christopher Foster. Abilities in older age.

8:25 Heidi talks about her ex-partner and his trying to avoid to be present and his path after his stroke towards his death, About the hospital and the way to become still after the initial panic

11:45 Christopher is an example of “dying before dying” – being familiar with the territory

13,30 Still waiting for Durwin

15:50 Durwin Foster arrives

17:10 Volonteer at the paliative care society to introduce them to the integral model to include more in their care.

19:52 The denial of death

20:40 Heidi gets back to the story of her dying ex-partner in the hospital

22:00 assisted dying – liberalisation in Canada

24:00 What happens while dying when you take drugs or poison?

24:41 Course around dying – more info on the list at

25:15 Process of dying like sleep

26:30 we have maps and new technologies may arise to foster awareness during sleep (lucid dreaming)

27:15 4 quadrants/ 8 zones  it is hard to go further in the society you are in

28:10 Internet makes it easier to find each other – people with integral mindset

29:10 Integral community in Vancover? – Salon and men’s group

30:05 The integral can become an orange structure of meaning – people can get stuck in the theory – money, sex, power comes up everywhere

31:20 Men’s work, 18 months long group until they hit the shadow……..

33:10 Mixed gender groups?

34:55 Feminine Power enabled us (Heidi and Mark) to stay together

36:30 Family comes in