I enjoyed the video. You are right on with the trajectory of the process. I do agree that it’s never a steady straight line and spiraling is continuous as life changes.  I imagine individuals can have deep baggage that hinders the ability to have endurance/confidence/emotional ability to take part. Do you interview perspective couples to avoid such issues? I can see creating positive results among a general population. For me myself; I attain some of the “higher level”; much of what you say, owning, accepting, moving on, but my learning comes more in the form of faith. So the avenue is the same (maybe) but the approach differs. Just my thoughts:)

I really enjoyed the video.  The theory resonated with me.  I thought the methodology you used in the examples were grounded and practical. The transitions of the relationships and evolution were very easy to understand and well illustrated in the theory.Thanks you for sharing!  Your mission is admirable and I see life changing for so many …the difference you make in the lives of others is amazing!
,

 

 Tom, great content, nicely working the developmental edge of couple’s intimacy. Yes, as any of us open into the dynamics of First Love, and esp Spiritual Love, with its higher, more authentic, transparent, and expansive capacities for love (approaching, even entering, Christ’s love), our own intimate relationship with our partner (and other people as well, including with our own self) can become complicated, even strained, as these newer, higher, expressions of intimacy/openness show up in us. I think that’s normal at least until we learn to have the dynamics of the lower right quadrant processes for First Love equally arise in the other three quads of our life and relationships (i.e., our dualistic mind tends to keep the four quads of any occasion separated out, particularly preferring a one-quad-only perspective over the other three). That, and, as importantly, the individual has to raise their mindset workings sufficiently into 2nd tier consciousness, get their center of gravity of perspective up there, so their First Love expression won’t unwittingly occur as 1st tier lusts and such (some nasty pre/trans dynamics playing out). It’s all part of our evolution of/as consciousness, developing capabilities that authentically express this higher capacity of awareness/consciousness. And as Mark said about that, “Bigger and better problems” will show up since our movement up the these developmental/evolutional stages opens us up into greater, more complex expressions of capacity and capability (developed capacity). Regarding merger anxiety and the ego, I’d suggest that we all don’t develop the ego—which is important to our mental health and functionality in life—simply to later get rid of it, get beyond it. I’d say we can evolve our ego, our sense-of-self, into higher stages and states of perspective. Even in a communal state, the healthy 2nd tier person still has a sense of self (ego). It just becomes more evolved, matured, authentic, expanded, and inclusive (even of our shadow, and of doing shadow work) as we evolve it/ourselves. It’s the unhealthy early-stage expressions of ego that we want to get past, not the ego (sense of self) per sé. Our ego continues to serve a healthy purpose throughout our vertical growth, at least in my experience. I esp like the last several minutes of the video where all three of you become more transparent and vulnerable in the conversation with this work in your own lives; nice walking the talk, esp for Heidi and Mark in realtime. So many more areas I’d love to jump in in this conversation, but wanting to keep it short here.