April 3rd at 10 AM PT/ 7 PM CET

Creating Conscious Intimate Relationship in the Third Act


This time for conscious agers, the “Third Act”, offers unique challenges and opportunities. As our physical forms continue their march to completion, our mental, emotional and spiritual capacities defy the trend and combine into a package commonly referred to as “Wisdom”.

So what does Wisdom teach us about relationship at this vibrant time in our individual and cultural lives? How do we manage our existing relationships for maximum life enhancement, and how do we create new ones, conscious, intimate ones, that will continue to nourish us?

Sharona Hana has been engaging this question in her own life, and will offer her perspectives in what we expect will be a rich conversation.



The numbers indicate the minutes where around you find the described section.

0 Intro Heidi

3 Sharona introduces herself:

exploring what is Conscious Eldering. Being single as a project and what she wanted to create next. How to date consciously? How to create consciously relationships?

6 America and cultural trends

7 “Third Act” – final act? There is a fourth act, too. Different names for the stage of “eldering”. Paradigm for ageing has changed in our generation. Being “OLD” starts at a different age now. The Boomers don’t accept to be old! Third act is a very vital time!

12 Which models to be changed?: A historical step back by Sharona: feminism and what is possible in the culture? But traditional in upbringing. Her family in red/amber and amber/orange stage of development. Women wanted everything, without knowing how to do it for the limited experience of upbringing. So many experiments didn’t work out and women went back into traditional marriages. No massive paradigm shift as thea had hoped for. Still now.

16 Heidi shares her upbringing and how we started to initiate the change from the traditional culture without really being able to know how it could be different. Conflict: trying to do the new and stick to the old. Pioneering the new. Next generations stand on the shoulders of the previous:

18 “Good girls revolt” (Netflix) about the 70ies. Sharona could smell that time which she remembered.

19 Paradigm of changing relationship. Marriage or not on the legal level. Emotional level: from economic partnership to love partnership. Today the person we want relationship with has to fulfil everything what we want, before there was a whole village to fulfill different needs. Trying to find that one person?

22  from “who I want to date” to “what I want in relationship”. Heidi: Men are behind in the self understanding. Shifting paradigm. Sharona names Warren Farrell: Men’s movements, men’s rights. Men have to shift their projects, too.

24 Heidi: Warrens research: women are more attracted by men with social status than with home working daddy. Slow process of changing patterns.

25 Family structures were more important when we were young. In the third act we don’t need to marry for financial stability or support of a family. So what is important now? Who are those people who can fulfil what our current needs are, which are different from younger age where you may need a father for your child.

28 Heidi: Women from pro-creation to co-creation: care for the world. We need to find a feminine approach to the problems of the world, and not try anymore to imitate men what we did in feminine times.

30 The creative impulse is different now. More being in the flow. Maiden, mother, crone. The crone transforms into an archetypal mother, mentor and models and inspiration. For that we need to clean up our act.

32: when old models don’t work anymore: 2 choices: victimhood )not very attractive to anyone) – find another way.

33 Sharona reads her story. What she learned from her last relationship. How to crreate a new paradigm of relationship? Conscious of the life long patterns. Now there are more possibilities to explore new ways of conscious intimate relationship.

So what do we do? Screenshare of the developmental graphics.Growing up, waking up, Cleaning up (looking at our patterns, trauma etc.), showing up.

42 When you get older you cannot lose anything any more. Say and be what you want. A liberation.

Intimacy can come in: being able to be authentic and vulnerable, being present with what is really there and with yourself. Interior work needed. Sharona used writing. Cleaning up the relational lines is necessary for creating a different relationship: Find the patterns and their origins.

46 From a podcast: What did love teach us  – instead of inquiring why a relationship failed. Better ee it as a graduation. What worked, what didn’t, what did we really want and are wanting? This is all new, our parents had no clue about the existence of interiors.

Heidi shares her experience: old patterns are strong and try to sneak in all the time. Find a person willing to go on that journey together!

51 Sharona as a dating support buddy. Sharing how to do that. Guiding questions for going forward. Now that I know the things about myself how does it play out in the relationship? A feminine model of creation.

55 Internet and online dating can bring us out of authenticity. Bright happy sides are shown. “Meet mindful” dating service in Colorado area. It didn’t work and so they created in person meetups.

58 Talking on video is a good way to get to get to know people very well. Heidi’s story how she met Mark and how they decided to stay together.

1:00 Find someone in the neighbourhood of your cosmic address – and not someone who fits into your projects.  

1:02 Now we have a chance to do it differently. We always have to come back to ourselves, life is still here. Keep creating gifts in any way we can. Life is giving you gifts, even with sad events. Uncertainty opens up opportunity

1:04 Sharona continues to share her process with writing down the questions. She asks the audience for feedback., Contact information or Facebook


It is not easy to find the right partner for our lives. When we are young, we easily fall in love and are convinced to have found the right partner. Often, after a while, we find out that this is not the case, that we were blind and have chosen someone who is not right for us and our own life plan.

Young women often chose older men. They unconsciously seem to hope to cope for the loss in their childhood, for the missing father figure. Thus, older men have relatively little difficulty to find a mate, he has a huge variety of women of all ages to chose from and his preference of beauty can easily be satisfied.

Older women often feel like having lost what conventionally is considered physical beauty. Their attractiveness to men seems to be diminished, when they compare themselves with all the young women competing for the older men.

While age differences are socially accepted for older men with younger women, the other way round is still something which seems absurd and the older women are considered needy and crazy when living with a younger man, also because, most likely,  they will soon be exchanged for a younger version.

So what to do? How can we successfully date when we are over 50 and older? Sharona Hana will talk about this phenomenon in our conversation.


Sharona Hana is a lifelong journeyer and jnana yogi, which means that she has followed a path of curiosity and self-inquiry which defies much description. She has had multiple careers, working in schools and in corporations, teaching leadership skills, teaching yoga and healing arts, and leading workshops and retreats around the globe.  An adventurer and community builder at heart, her life continues to deliver wonderful surprises!

Sharona has been pursuing her curiosity within the opportunities of eldership at this particular time in history, ever since she became an elder. Informed by Integral Theory, this led her to convene a group of co-explorers called “Integral Sage-ing” in 2016, which continues to meet twice monthly to this day. She also produced “Ask an Elder”, a series of intergenerational conversations to evoke the curiosity of younger people and the wisdom of elders. Her current project is taken off the pages of her own life as she explores what might be possible in creating new relationship “in the third act