January 13th, 2017 at 10 AM PT/ 7 PM CET

The Later Years of Life: Shared Purpose in Love Relationships


What is our purpose in life? And what is our purpose when we enter into relationships? Can there be a shared purpose in love relationships? And why are we talking about this topic right now, in the context of conscious ageing?

In our conversation with Martin Ucik we want to explore how love relationships develop and how we can create a most beautiful love experience, not DESPITE, but BECAUSE we are getting older.

Portrait of Martin Ucik

STREAMED LIVE HERE on January 13th 2017

Martin Ucik - Conscious Ageing

00:00 Housekeeping and introductions
05:45 Martin’s new book, from his integral roots and the importance of levels, the one way street

09:00 Revealing one’s authentic self and the possibility of seeming arrogant

11:30 Mark relates to his experience with differing levels and meeting Heidi (now with 5 years together), shared purpose

13:50 “Looking at each other, but also out into the world together.  Andrew Cohen’s and Eckart Tolle’s influence.  

16:38 Couples have joint purposes at every level: 1. biological, 2. quality of life seeking or hedonistic (1 and 2 are involuntary)

20:19 Next, level 3 (eudemonic) serving a higher purpose

22:30 Next, expression of creativity: level 4, genetically based on 4 genes, one for each quadrant, but with varied expression, epigenetics, soul or transcendental purpose

26:20 Heidi brings in a viewer’s question: Can people at different level create a viable relationship together? Martin postpones a response and continues with development of the “supra-sexual” self which is as sexy as sex itself!

28:20 A new attractor which fits well with older age when sex itself is not so demanding.
30:15 Quality of life when single vs, as a couple and another viewer’s question leads the discussion to love as expressed by the 6 chakras: the 5th when male language is predominant and the 6th when female wisdom is accepted or rejected (not totally hard wired by sex!)

36:30 Martin is advocating a new form of love where people become equal and opposite co-creators at all their levels, including the 7th transcendental level.  The primary love becomes what is created between the two of the couple. No more reciprocity, tit for tat, but a leaning into a common co-creation, represented by the 7th chakra.

38:20 We explain as we’ve understood it, with comments and corrections by Martin.  And how does one find such a partner?  Not necessarily in close physical proximity!  First show up and then naturally partners will find each other. The couple is the next procreative level of development, beyond individual development.

43:10 It still requires similar value systems/levels to work successfully.

47:15 How growth by challenges(men) and grace and acknowledgement (women) can work…and not work!
50:25 Answering questions, being truthful from the start.

54:19 Onto ageing questions, differences in the relationship of society to the individual vs. to a couple, some unfair gender differences “built in”, opportunities to “clean up” are more possible in later years and as a couple.

59:05 Co-creation matters more in older years.  Why?  There’s actually a moral reason that is an attractor, not a push.  Beyond “autonomy”

01:01:20 “Tales out of school”: Perfectionism. The master/slave relationship but the ideal goal is not to be alone and perfectly autonomous. No models about how to do this in later life.

01:04:20 Martin asks for feedback as his book nears completion:   Skype name: martinucik
01:05:20 Some final advice from Heidi!

01:08:00 Thanks you’s and good byes


During our life time we undergo several transformations. We grow ourselves -hopefully- into more mature beings and with this we become able to live our lives in a different and more purposeful way.

Most probably, with our personal development, we grow also in our relationship skills. So we can approach love relationships in a different way than we did in earlier times of our lives. These skills and capacities allow us to share not only love and affection, a household and our offspring, but also we discover a shared purpose. This then becomes the basis on which to construct our love relationships in the later years of our lives.


Martin Ucik was born in West-Germany in 1957, grew up in a happy family, studied Electrical Engineering, and founded a successful international music-soft and hardware publishing company in 1982. He came to the US in 1995 with his wife and children to serve as President of HOHNER MIDIA. Eckhart Tolle trained him as a spiritual group facilitator in 2003. Heartfelt conversations in his Power of Now group and the end of his 14 year marriage led him to a deeper interest in male-female relationship dynamics.  He founded, an Association for Healthy Relationships.

In 2006 he became an avid student of Ken Wilber’s Integral philosophy.

Not finding any books that took an integral approach to dating and the co-creation of healthy love relationships, he began to write the widely acclaimed “Integral Relationships: A Manual for Men“, which was published in July 2010.

He lives in Sherman Oaks, and Santa Rosa, California, as well as in Germany, and works as President and CEO for Sommer cable America and as strategic business consultant  for the Hollywood, CA based Pro Audio distribution firm

“Hopefully people will get a sense of just how complete this book is. Honestly, I haven’t seen anything quite like it—it’s very impressive.” Ken Wilber