CONVERSATIONS THAT MATTER, RELATIONSHIPS
2019, June 19th at 10 AM PT/ 7 PM CET
Crisis & Couple Intimacy
Transfigured by an Integral Lattice
with Dr. Tom Habib
Tom writes
For couples who haven’t “cleaned-up, grown-up, and woken-up” the quality of showing-up suffers providing impetus for conflict and crisis. At times, a committed or married individual may look elsewhere to fulfill vital needs. This is especially a possibility within the intimate relationship where unrealized issues eventually “all come out in the wash”.
The extra marital affair is the most dramatic crises a couple will encounter. It is an apocalyptic developmental transformation for a couple who has failed to heed the signs to evolve. When guided along this traumatic developmental path by an integrally informed therapist, the crisis of the affair is utilized to improve vital interaction patterns, challenge erroneously held beliefs, heighten gratitude and contentment; and finally, re-enchant the relationship.
This apocalyptic transformation begins at the nauseating discovery of infidelity. Via an all quadrant analysis the missing attraction is strategically reignited for the disengaging spouse by tapping primitive impulses. After ample trauma and reflection, we finally arrive at a deeper re-connection than the couple previously experienced. Their embrace now reflects how close they came to loosing what they now cherish… that later is transformed into daily feelings of gratitude. Through this case study of an affair Tom will bring clarity and simplicity to illuminate what has to be realized in all intimate interaction to achieve the foundation from which intimacy thrives.
WATCH THE LIVE STREAM HERE on June 19th at 10 AM PT/ 7 PM CET
HEIDI´S INTRO TO THE SHOW
When in May 2014 we held workshops in the same section at the Integral European Conference we videotaped Tom’s presentation and published it on our Youtube Channel. From then on we invited him regularly to our shows and witnessed the enfolding of his research into the ways how couples can grow up together.
The first groundbreaking contribution was about the stages of couple development. (You find it as audio podcast in 15 minute parts, or as videos HERE).
After that we had several live conversations with Tom, also together with Martin Ucik, another integrally informed “relationship guy”.
Mind blowing for me was this episode about Growing into Childlike Love – Conscious regression in intimacy. Becoming able to hold the emotional states of the partner and living through them with increased intimacy is an expression of higher stages in our development! This makes so much sense to me! And it is a huge gift for us when we experience that.
This time we discuss an ulterior development in Tom’s research: How an extramarital affair can not only not lead to wrath and separation, but be used to deepen the understanding and intimacy of the couple by developing new relationship skills.
ABOUT DR. TOM HABIB
Dr. Tom Habib is a clinical psychologist in San Juan Capistrano, CA specializing in couple’s therapy. Tom has published papers on a Couple’s Line of Development (Integral Leadership Review, Aug-Nov, 2016, revised 2018) and on the role of Regression and LR Supporting Structures (Journal of Integral Theory & Practice, Dec. 2014).
He has presented at the Integral Theory Conference, at the Integral European Conference (IEC) 2018 and 2016 where he was recognized for the Best Practitioner Paper, Honorable Mention. Tom is currently serving as the chair for the newly emerging International Consortium of Integral Scholars for IEC.
In Dec., 2017 Tom was designated as a top 5% researcher by Academia.edu and was notified November, 2018 that he had achieved the top 1% researcher in recognition how often his work is viewed by researchers all over the world. The Wisdom Factory was the first to introduce Tom to the larger integral community and to make his ideas available throughout the world. Since then, he has presented his work on several pod/video cast including The Daily Evolver, Evolve Radio, Something You Should Know among others.
AUTHOR WEBPAGES
AUTHOR RESOURCES
CLICK ON THE LINKS BELOW FOR THE BOOKS AND PAPERS BY DR. TOM HABIB
If These Walls Could Talk: A Therapist Reveals Stories of Change and How They will Work for You
A couples line of development
Academic paper by Dr. Tom Habib
INTIMATE COUPLES Regression and Lower-Right Supporting Structures
Academic paper by Dr. Tom Habib
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