00:00 Intro and mechanics
01:20 Introducing Martin Ucik
02:30 How Martin came to write his new book “Sex Purpose Love: Couples in Integral Relationships Creating a Better World” He says his original book was incomplete and the “purpose” part was lacking.
04:45 Unconditional love and the “Myth of the Given”. So many conditions, including peoples’ capacities, at each chakra, in four quadrants,and also feminine/masculine polarity: thus 7x4x4 perspectives of that experience of love!
08:28 Overlooked in first book: pathologies! And people who are attracted to some personality disorders: relationship junkies!
10:45 Also added enneagram instincts and inter-becoming. 800 pages! More a reference book than a just a long read.
12:55 No wonder so many of us no longer know how to be in an intimate relationship with another, especially since so many old rules have fallen away. Heidi asks if we EVER knew how to be “you” together. Martin suggests we (especially women) may have to become independent first and then learn a kind of healthy interdependency. So is there a “final” stage? Probably not!
17:35 Heidi recounts her thoughts on patriarchy being accused of so many sins. Then back to the book…and trascendental purpose (so many adjectives before “purpose”!) which Martin uses.
20:51 Martin reports on 4 separate genes for dispositions for “talent”:
cognitive, empathic, creative, or kinesthetic intelligences which all map onto the 4 quadrants of the good, the true, the beautiful, and the functional!
21:33 All four get encoded by the sexual selection process! And women look for men who are intelligent, kind (empathetic), creative, and can fix stuff (functional)! The force of evolution!
23:45 These talents are either encouraged or repressed, and they’re not metaphysical but genetic! Consequences!
23:00 Mark ask how these 4 qualities (talents) get expressed in women? What do men want in women? Many mutual ways possible today. Barbara Marx-Hubbard’s “Supra-Sexuality”.
32:57 The transcendental purpose has to have already emerged in a person before they meet another possible mate. No latching on! So no competition, no patriarchy!
35:00 The Blue and Orange problems are being addressed and getting better but the problems they create are not – because there are so few at Green or above – and they procreate less!
37:08 Heidi has some challenges for Martin, who responds.
41:00 Huge difference the pill has made so that sexual selection does not necessarily change our genes! And will we go extinct thereby? Will there be a downshift in our COG? Martin is worried about being outvoted! How do we counter the negativity of child raising in postmodern or Green couples? Martin notes a new trend among the most educated to have more children than the moderately educated!
47:20 Martins notes differences in biological purpose and the transcendental purpose which must support the bio purpose.
50:08 Martin explains men’s bio purpose is to protect and provide, which supports monogamy. Martin hopes to show the next emergent structures, and make that new structure more attractive that the current ones.
54:40 What about those already in relationships and are discovering they don’t share a common transcendental purpose. Ouch!
56:50 Mark and Heidi both illustrate how a common purpose can evolve and the couple (themselves!) can remain inside a greater common purpose as time passes and new interests develop. Martin notes some complications he has witnessed.
1:00:00 Going into final words, how to find more about the books, newsletters, workshops, presentations by Martin. His website: