We live in a world where up to 50% live in single households, with occasional connection to family members or sexual partners. The number of “solopreneurs” increases constantly because many of us don’t want to be bullied around by bosses and colleagues. Cooperative partnership in business doesn’t seem to work out wither. Are we doomed to be and work alone?
We know so much nowadays. We learn a lot about our world, about the cosmos, about the functioning of the human body and brain, about technology and modern devices, we learn about communication, about group processes, about our inner structure, our psyche and our soul. And finally we also came to the understanding that Knowing alone is not enough without Being, without the conscious experience of what we know. So in our “green” level of development we went to all sorts of experiential workshops and we really got to know a lot more about ourselves from different perspectives.
It is a great time with endless possibilities – and yet, despite all our efforts we get stuck ever and ever again when we are in relationships. As mentioned above we seem to come to the conclusion that “Alone Is Best”. But we want to be happy – it is our explizit birthright to be HAPPY – and we need others to really experience happiness. What is it that comes into our way? What is it that we cannot see, what our willingness for change and development is not able to grasp?
Well, it is like the fish who has no idea what WATER is because it is swimming in it all the time, it is too near to it in order to be perceivable. And so it is with us humans: we not easily can see the “water” in which we are swimming because it is too obvious to be seen.
What is it? well, it is the very basic ideas with which we see the world, the conditioning in which we were conceived and born into, which totally escapes our awareness – and which conditions our thoughts and behaviors on a deeper level than our conscious and deliberate thinking, planning and behaving.
The tricky thing is that, the more we “know” the more we believe that we know it all and that there is nothing out of our awareness, especially when we have done meditation for years and lay on the couch for decades. It is hard to understand that THERE ARE THINGS GOING ON INSIDE OF YOU which you are not aware of and therefore you can hardly influence and change them. And that’s why your next intimate relationship breaks at a similar point as the last and your next boss reveals to be an ashole as the last one and your colleagues little trustworthy as all the ones before.
You need to make the step away from outside, from your partners, bosses and colleagues and get aware of your unknown conditions which make you end up in constant insatisfaction and unhappiness or in lacking success in life.
Monika Frühwirt is one of the early pioneers in Integral Theory in Germany. She created a women’s group in 2006 and hoped that this would lead to a different way of being and doing than we constantly see with our male integral colleagues. The experience was that women entered into the same sort of rivalry and competition for the leader role as men usually do. Well, we women are conditioned by patriarchy too. And we need to sort out clearly what is the real and divine Feminine in us, what are female stereotypes and – most important – what are our personal conditionings and belief systems.
In this conversation we will talk about exactly this: how to bring clarity and discernment in our way of thinking and behaving. And this is NOT CONFINED to women, but men have similar conditionings as well which don’t allow them to overcome their limits – which often are in different realms than those of women.