CONVERSATIONS THAT MATTER
What I can see in your face – with Joseph McGuire
Heidi writes
In our times we often overestimate written or spoken words as means of communication. In German we have a saying: “Paper is patient” for making clear that all sorts of things can be written or said, but what really counts are the outcomes of the actions of the people uttering these words. Do they really mean what they say? Are they speaking truth or do they try to manipulate us through deceitful ways of communicating?
We humans still have a natural understanding of what others are about, although our civilization has done its best to alienate us from these capacities. I personally was educated not to trust what I saw going on around me, not to question the official story in my family or other contexts and, for the sake of belonging, I had to silence my inner voices which warned me quite often. Slowly I learned that I can trust my intuitive impressions and that they are more trustworthy than all these rationalisations in my thoughts which try to convince me otherwise.
When I studied Linguistics in University, I became keenly aware not only of the different ways of saying things with words and linguistic structure, I also realised how many non verbal ways we use for communication which in themselves are much more powerful than the words themselves. They also cannot be controlled as easily as the words – unless you are a gifted actor or natural liar. The clues you give to others by your posture, body language, gestures, tone of voice and more are not normally in our awareness. As children most of us have had this experience expressed in the German saying “Lies have short legs”. We tried to lie about things, but our parents knew that we didn’t speak the truth. Our words were not enough to make them believe what we said. We tried to lie better in time, we make certain progress, but still, our lies can be detected by lie detectors or seen by others who are aware and trained to note all the little hints you give, all the tiny – or big – incongruencies with which you meet others.
The facial expression and the gestures accompanying your words are very important to transmit the content of what you want to say – and they can also betray you. Being able to see each other’s faces while communicating is very important for social interaction, for deciding if we can trust each other or not. In our crazy Corona times, where people are forced to walk around with face masks which cover the smile of your mouth, the disappointment or excitement expressed in the movement of your lips, the non verbal hints are reduced to the perception of each others’ eyes. Eye contact is important, it can be enough to get to know each other, but you certainly need to be very alert and experienced in reading the other person, when the recognition factors are so drastically reduced to only one modality.
We are confronted by our governments with face reading machines which measure digitally all possible details in our faces in order to recognise us wherever we go, to survey us against our will. This is the abuse of an otherwise useful and important capacity of us humans. The machines don’t care about our privacy, about our personal boundaries. Humans can be ethically guided in their actions and realise when another person doesn’t want to be looked at and explored, for whatever reason. An algorithm just selects data about you and who knows what it is used for. Humans can draw some conclusions about the person they are observing, but they have no automatic right to the truth of their conclusions and limited power to use it, for or against the person they “read” – hopefully.
Can people get reliable information on a person by reading their faces? And if so, when and what is it appropriate to use this information for? These are the questions which I discussed with my guest Joseph McGuire who has the gift of receiving information from peoples’ faces. He has studied and taught the ancient Chinese tradition of Mien Shiang (Face Reading) for almost 40 years. He has used this ability in business contexts by observing and identifying certain abilities and ways of behaviour in people which then could be used to find the right work and position in the organisation for the individual.
The main benefit of understanding the facial expressions of others lies in the enhancement of communication which can avoid undesired effects such as miscommunication and misunderstanding. As an example, drawn from the animal kingdom: people who get scratched by cats or even bitten by dogs, more often than not have tried to impose their will on the animal and have not listened to the clear signals of “stay away from me, or I bite you”. In communication with people there are certain moments when you can talk about things and certain others where you better stay silent to avoid an escalation. Peace begins with reading each other as whole human beings!
About Joseph McGuire
Joseph McGuire has practiced and taught the ancient Chinese tradition of Face Reading since 1985 in Germany, Ireland and the U.K.. Working for many years as a therapist he used it as a diagnostic tool for identifying and helping to treat physical, mental and emotional health issues. As the Chinese understanding has always been that mind and body are inseparably interrelated he has also used it as a skillset in business to help with senior level interviews, negotiations and training teams for enhanced communication. More recently he has focused on the area of communication, and helping people build exceptional relationships in their personal and professional lives. He is the author of ‘Face Facts: The Art of reading Your Clients and Prospects for Sales, Negotiation and Recruitment’.
RESOURCES
https://clearsightcommunications.com/
https://clearsightcommunications.com/face-facts-book/
ie.linkedin.com/in/clearsightcommunications/
https://twitter.com/clearsightj
Building exceptional relationships to sustain and thrive – from Observation and Understanding to Communication!
Tel. 087-246 1853
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