The Shadow, The Feminine and Trump

Heidi writes

BiographyWhat is the feminine shadow? Starting out with this question it becomes obvious that we cannot really know at any given moment. By definition the shadow is the part in the dark, the part we cannot see. So how can we say anything about it when it is hidden?

Well, during life, many things which were hidden at a certain moment come to light and we can realise that it was part of our shadow. When sufficient people come to similar insights, we can speak about “the shadow”, even the “feminine shadow”, when it concerns the feminine and women specifically.

So what do we realise to be shadow elements? The need for harmony, the holding back attitude, the malignant competition among women and the attempt to pull them back when they want to crawl out of their limitation, like crabs in a basket. Also the exaggerated self assertion of women who try to excel in the masculine world by becoming “better men”. Here the entire feminine qualities are pushed into the shadow, while some of the previously unseen abilities might emerge at the same time. How much is the personal shadow determined by society? What means shadow at the societal level?

In the attempt of getting clarity, in our first “shadow talk” in Women Matters the word “Trump” came up, and as you can imagine, it took us quite away from the feminine. Is he expressing the shadow side of America? Or just his own? Or is he actually “authentic”, as many people call him? It depends what you mean with “authenticity”. If it means: “the free and uncontrolled expression of what comes up, unfiltered by any deliberate (or even unconscious) mask”: well, yes. He definitely is authentic and doesn’t act out of his personal shadow. When we want to attribute to “authenticity” a positive quality – as it is often understood – then the discourse might be different. There is nothing positive about influencing others to negative behavior, anger and destructivity by misleading them with “alternative facts” and demagogic attitudes.

Coming back to our integral orientation, our final consideration was: Trump probably doesn’t behave out of his shadow, but out of an unhealthy version of the level of his development: “red”, egocentric in terms of Spiral Dynamics.

So how can we notice if we, ourselves, act out of our shadow side? When we feel upset, does it always mean that we are projecting things on others, which we don’t want to own, which are hidden in our shadow? If we get unpleasant feedback, should we take this as a sign that we need to dig into our shadow? These things are not easy to decide, but certainly a pathway towards more clarity, at least when it comes to our personal shadow content, our personal blindness. Others can often see what we can’t or don’t want to see. Honest feedback is certainly a good way to find it out. A long way to go! And only few people are willing to pursue this path. It is infinitely easier to blame and find fault in others than to look into oneself with radical honesty.

We might be able to illuminate our personal shadow. What about the shadow in society? What is it and how can we clear it at least to some extent? Is our society ready to dig into it and act accordingly? It needs to be seen, but it seems to me to be the only way to preserve some kind of civilisation – or, in the words of Yuval Harari (albeit in a different context) – to finally arrive at something which merits the name “civilisation”.

This conversation took place on August 30th, 2020

TIME STAMPS : WHAT to find WHERE in the Video

Shadow, the feminine, Trump and what to do?

Women Matters August 31. 20 Feminine Shadow + Trump

0:00 Intro Heidi + check in

1:20 Monia in Vienna

2:10 Lucy from Brazil living in Spain, alluding to Corona Virus 38 years old, psychologist and composer – Monia is 79 years old!

3:50 Victoria from San Diego area

first commends on Lucy and the Caravan of Unity. Channeling the music.

6:40 Hannelie in South Africa

7:15 Christine in San Diego area. A century ago the women got the right to vote (not black women) INterested in feminine topics

8:55 Gertraud from Germany

10:15 Martini with her tech issues

10:45 Heidi about the feminine shadow summit

11:50 Global or whatever we understand under feminine shadow

12:10 Martini near Vienna,

13:30 Heidi: the feminine shadow in men.

14:50 Christine: shadow as Jung – concept. Also society can have a shadow. Hidden by definition. Feminine shadow: pleasing others, not being authentic, then we are in our shadow side. Shun other women in their experience, they are too………

17:10 HEidi: when getting older we see a little more of the hidden stuff.

17:40 Martini about Claissa Pincola Estes. Women who run with the wolves. She doesn’t want to please people. Being strong in the shadows

20:15 Monia about the book and her intro. Then Inana story. The shadow sister. Individual approach to shadow. E.g. When something irritates you, that is your shadow. INteresting times with Corona to study shadow. We need to let go to be authentic. Book: Pereira.

23:40 The distorted feminine and the unconscious feminine are different. Feeking the power from within so the hidden parts can come out. In business women act like men, are even worse. Hannelie shares her feelings about what we shared before. In chrome energy things start to change.

26:26 Gertraud about the female shadow in men and in women are complementary: females have societal restriction and men are not allowed the exact opposit. Niobe Way: research that boys get distorted after 13, they have to be men. Female shadow: peeling onions. She describes an experience of shadow. The female is overpowered, physical and political power. The example of the Crab Basket. Introduce the Golden Shadow.

31:30 Lucy missing. Victoria shares that she has Corona virus infection. Victoria: Redefining stereotypes. The new generation seems to be more embracing. What is appropriate?

Victoria mentions Richard Rohr. Thomas Merton: false self and true self/ separate self. Goal: integration and interconnection. True self is linked with evefrybody else. Less concentrate on feminene/masculine which seems to belong to another century. Our language becomes obsolete. We need to become all inclusive.

39:05 Lucy – postpones her contribution. Monia asks a question.

40:10 Other people see more of our personal shadow. We think that we do things in certain ways but others see us differently.. We need more consciousness about ourselves

41:15 How do we know if we act out of shadow or authentic parts

41:45 Irritation an recurrence./ patterns. Being triggered.

42:55 Heidi about accepting feedback and figure out if it is true. Gertraud tells a joke.

44:30 Lucy hearing the voice of her heart, but people tell her to follow more the reason. The limit of using feedback of others.

45;45 Monia asks: Is Trump acting out of his shadow? Shadow energy?.

46:25 Victoria refers to her mother being described. Monia’s feedback to Victoria’s mother. Her mother admitted that she used her shadow/anger to get enough energy for the accomplishments of her goals.

48:40 Is Trump an Adrenalin junkie? Christine gives her assessment. Although he is called out he doesn’t seem to bother. Christine feels beyond irritation. Any relationship can help us to see our shadow side, especially marriage. Christine’s experience. She gets feedback from her husband about her shadow, but she needs to understand if it might also be his shadow trying to decide for her what is going on. A challenge.

52:20 Gertraud: she talks about her mariage – feedback. Female shadow: voluntarily take on everything instead of sometimes saying: wait a minute when disbalance.

53:40 Monia’s husband is a lawyer. With Corona the laws are not helpful and he is upset, as enneatype 1: CAN LAWYERS MAKE MISTAKES? Telepathic connection is annoying…

54:55 Gertrud take up the Trump thing: projection. It is only outside, not me! Collective shadow is feeding him. We are feeding the power of that shadow.

56:10 Victoria tries to stay disengaged. Keeping the own integrity and energy. Distructive pattern when feeded by the shadow of alike person. Trump seems to her like a 2 year old: in a child you ignore it and it goes away, but….

58:30 Heidi: impossible to convince irrational people with rationality. The story about the interview when Trump thought to be at the top of the world – yes, of the infectionrates . How come that someone alike gets elected? Are we as humanity much less grown up than we think

1:00:45 Monia about the unjust election system in the US.

1:02:10 Heidi: Shadow in the system. Personal need for security makes people belief in promises. The need to create a hero to follow to avoid responsibility.

03:45 Christine: people call Trump authenti and admire it. Is this authenticity? Heidi: authentic out of the unhealthy form of red energy. The need to think about the term “authenticity”.

05:15 Where the 2feminine shadow” went. Invitation to a check out

05:55 Victoria: if we have limited energy, where do we want to direct it to? Shadow or light? Invitation to this topic.

07:30 Heidi “translates” Victoria’s topic suggestion.

08:55 Check out Heidi

09:25 Christine: Suggestion the societal shadow which Corona has exposed. The pandemic is not allowing us to focus on the positive

10:30 Heidi speaks about the Wim Hof breathing method and its power to combat viruses

11:45 Gertrud and the appreciation manifesto. It is not either or positive/negative, The winner effect: Robertson: what happens in the brain when shadow or someone else takes over.

13:42 Martini: not bad nor good: integrating both to become one. Referring to Thomas Merten. Positive appreciation, it is already in me. WHat has it to do with shadow?

16:15 The golden shadow.

17:00 Monia would like to go into societal shadow. EMpowerment of each other. We crabs go aout of the basket

18:34 Hannelie brings in Loraine Lauscher who didn’t allow anyone to put her down. Being in the moment and what it is bringing out in us. Irritation creates a perl in the shell. We need irritation, not getting stuck in it, but becoming the perl

20:30 Lucy: Human nature: is it moe shadow or more light? Where do the shadows come from? The bad things in the world?

21:32 Victoria: Thanks us women and everyone,

This second part on collective shadow took place on September 14th, 2020