Kymberli Speight - I need to know you!

VLOG – CONVERSATIONS THAT MATTER

I need to know you – with Kymberli Speight

HEIDI WRITES

In former times it was normal to chat with people whom we met on our way. We said “hello” when others were crossing our path, even if we didn’t know them at all. Today we pass each other, staying silent, looking towards the floor or to the horizon, pretending not to notice the other human being. When that is impossible, like in an elevator, we feel awkard, drawing back into ourselves and hoping the elevator would quickly arrive and save us from the exposure to the stranger.

Doing so we miss on out huge opportunities of reconnecting to life. Humans are social creatures, but most of us have bought into an exaggerated individualization which has led us to separate from others, to shield ourselves from connection and intimacy – to our collective detriment.

It takes an act of courage to step out and actively engage with people we meet in o.ur lives and whom we have never seen before. Talking to them when we feel that they might be open to connection is a way to learn about their stories, their lives. We will discover that they are far more interesting than we had thought, that we can learn from their experience and, after all, that we have a lot in common.

Our guest Kimberly Speight set a challenge for herself to speak to 100 people she had never met before in 100 days. And, yes, it was a challenge and she took it on with curiosity and confidence. Her experience with talking to these people who she met in waiting situations, in shops or airplanes was overwhelming positive. She saw how people opened up when someone was really interested in their story and truly listening to what they have to share. And she realized her own development in communication skills and self confidence. A win-win situation which she has now crystallized in her book “I need to know you”. You can order the book HERE

Enjoy our conversation about that challenge and how we can support each other in stepping out of the isolation which has become the societal norm in our western countries.

In the series Conversations that Matter published for February 5th, 2020

TIME STAMPS : WHAT to find WHERE in the video

0:00 Heidi’s intro

0:55 Kymberli introduces herself and her topic How she took on the challenge of having 100 conversations.

4:20 Heidi appreciates technology for connection with people far away.

5:15 How Kymberli met the people: starti ng the conversation with something they have in common. The strategy. Who she spoke to and where she found them.

8:40 A training to overcome hesitation and fear of connecting. And developing the skills for opening conversation. The difference between her and her husband in meeting people. A story Taking a chance! – Are you smiling at people? Pass the initial roadblock.

13:15 We can practice these skills. That changes yourself!

14:35 Heidi shares her experience from the first time to do shows and what came out of it.

16:03 We crave connection and get out to meet people. We learn a lot about others! Women need to get more real competence.

17:30 We learn that others have challenges in their lifes too, we are not so much a victim, so our burden is more easy to carry.

18:40 The common theme: we want to connect and we are not so different. All stories have value!

20:10 People are glad to be listened to. Taking the time to listen is the key. Change society by learning to listen!

22:25 Kymberli could talk with people on topics which you normally would not talk about, like politics or religion, but with listening real conversations can take place where we understand and honor the other perspectives. A story.

25:00 Confrontation and polarisation stops the conversation, but enters into fight. H

Kimberly’s encouragement and engagements to inspire others to do similar things. The technique how to listen to others and to check on our own values when others display completely different values. Everybody holds some piece of truth. Ken Wilber and Jordan Peterson: Listen and you might learn something new!

29:50 Name calling and pointing fingers creates lack of trust and shutting down.Ask them for the intention and clarification instead. Words can hurt!

31:50 Social media; people hide behind their words, attacking each other. Video or in person is more civil. Monologue instead of dialogue. People often come from a place of pain when they get angry.

35:03 How was the process of writing the book? Holding herself accountable. A story to write every single day! Her husband read every story and gave feedback. Is this helpful for the person who shared the story and/or to the reader? Professional editing process. Finding her voice as a writer. The book was like having born her third child. She hopes on the impact on people to go out and have more conversations.

42:00 Expanding her understanding going out to other cultures as project for the future. Pre-order the boo.

42:50 Which story did you like best? “Why not” as answer inspired her. Her experience to have lost the “Why not?” in her life. Heidi: the “why not” can come back when we are getting older.

46:05 Looking for purpose and meaning. – Heidi reminds the CONSCIOUS AGEING series

46:50 Another story: recognizing preconceived ideas of others by talking to them. Kimberly got impacted by the story of a women who had gone through serious hardship.

50:00 prolonged grief disorder is leading you to give up on your own life. We are not meant to be a victim of life.

51:30 Living today’s blessings. More encouragements.

53:00 Your own story? Where have I come from? What were the challenges? Thankfulness about the experience. The loss of her father led to gratitude. Be thankful today for what I have

55:28 Heidi shares her gratitude for the life she had passed with Mark. Growing from experience which had brought you to the person you are today. Kymberli is happy with what she has become. We still have the power to change what we don’t like in ourselves. Appreciaiton of the steps in our lives.

58 Ending with another encouragement

About Kymberli Speight

Kymberli’s motto is “Be proactive! Enhance your brand to reach your target audience.” She is a keynote speaker, an executive coach, and a Certified Professional Career Coach (CPCC), who has worked with separating active duty military executives and civilian clients transitioning to their next career opportunity. She leverages her networking expertise to teach viable skills necessary for making a successful transition. Kymberli is certified at the master’s level with the Reach personal branding process and holds additional certifications in Conversational Intelligence, and 360 Reach.

Prior to coaching, Kymberli developed futures. She was also an executive recruiter for Zingaro & Company in the life science and healthcare industry. Additionally, Kymberli worked for the Vice President of Client Services at Catapult Health, a start-up company, with initial staffing and training. Kymberli has a strong background in contract negotiations. Her claim to fame is that she once spent $954M. As an active duty officer, she was the buyer for the fiscal year 1991 annual year buy of the Air Force’s F-15E fighter jet.

Kymberli has a desire for helping military members make a smooth transition into the civilian sector. Moving every 2-3 years herself in support of the Air Force mission and observing the transition process as the spouse of a retired Air Force Colonel gives her firsthand experience with the complexity of transition. She now facilitates the Executive Transition Assistance Program (ETAP) at several Air Force Bases across the US. In addition to working with the military, Kymberli considers it a privilege to have served in the Air Force for 5 years active duty and 6 years in the reserves after graduating from the Air Force Academy.

Kymberli is passionate about giving back to the communities that have helped shape her personal and professional life. She delivers content loaded keynotes on networking (relationship building) and enhancing your personal brand (your reputation) as well as inspirational topics. When she is not working, Kymberli enjoys traveling and spending time with family and friends.