Why is it so hard to talk about love? We had two previous meetings where we had the word “love” in the title, once in connection with hate, the other time with fear. It turned out that we focused on hate and fear and love was mainly set aside. So this time we decided to really talk about love and inquire into what it means, what it is and why we have such a difficulty to prioritise and express it.
The word “love” is standing alone. As a positive feeling or attitude, it is hardly specified at all. It is used for almost everything, for people as well as for activities, food or whatever. Other languages like German focus it more on one’s attitude towards living creatures, but the undifferentiated usage in English speaking cultures is spreading its flattening effects also there.
By using the word in so many occasions, it loses its real meaning. “I love you” seemed to mean a lot, but does it still? Can we say this phrase to an intimate partner still with the same meaning as it had before or does it mean the same as “ I Love ice cream”, which is expressing more a preference than the feeling of love. When somebody tells us: “I love you”, can we believe that? Is this suspicion of the words not meaning what they say, the real reason why it is so difficult to authentically say these words in the right moment and with the right intention. Or is it just shyness and imprinting from our childhood where this word didn’t exist in the family vocabulary?
In our conversation, Gertraud led us through a process where we were invited and prepared to talk about the positive. There were questions to answer by all participants and then we engaged together in the inquiry. The structure helped to bring the conversation forward and stay focused on the topic. An interesting new experience.
As for “love”, we shed many different lights on it, exchanged thoughts and experiences and open questions. It was another moment of feminine co-creation, characterised by listening to what is being said and allowing to arise from our depth what wants to be said by ourselves. I hope you can find some inspiration in watching this video and explore yourself.